


Can't Fight This Feeling

by Risahn



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Compulsive Behavior, Extra (TM) Phichit, Friendship, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Makeup, Minor Angst, OCD!Seung-gil, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Seungchuchu Week, Skype, Star Trek References, aka Phichit's true craft, also Glee references, background mentions of homophobia, ew (mwahaha), minor plotting, symptoms of anxiety, tags update as the fic progresses, the October edition, their friends ship them so hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-01-18 13:57:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12389481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Risahn/pseuds/Risahn
Summary: Phichit and Seung-gil both live in the international dorm at a university in Detroit. This is the story of how they grow together, and how their friends are oftentimes involved.





	1. Day 1: Dogs

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO READERS! I've missed you alllll.
> 
> I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to participate in this round of SeungChuchu week, but I wasn't strong enough to resist. I have other things I should be writing and exams I should be studying for - I'M SO BUSY. But I really wanted to participate, so here I am, pushing aside my real-world responsibilities in favor of something that brings me a lot of happiness.
> 
> This college!AU might become part of a larger SeungChuchu series, but I'm not 100% sure yet.
> 
> All mistakes are my own, as are any bad plot points. I'm so tired, everything is a blur.

Every college kid knows that if you’re going to walk your dog on campus, you have to be prepared to stop every thirty seconds or so – not because your dog wants to stop and smell everything, but because your fellow students have to pet your dog, or else implode from the cuteness.

It takes five seconds for someone to see your dog, another five for them to work up the nerve to come over, and then you’re stuck for at least twenty seconds of petting. Take that process and multiply it by the number of people out at one in the afternoon, and you start to see the problem.

After being stopped twice, Seung-gil’s polite smile had started to fade. By the sixth person, he’s not even trying anymore.

By the time fifteen different people have stopped to coo over Jin, he’s ready to punch the friendly sorority girl in her stupid face.

“Omg she’s _sooo_ cute!” She leaned down to pet Jin behind her ears, who pushed her head into it, the traitor. “Is she a husky? My cousin used to have a husky!”

“Ahaha,” Seung-gil weakly laughed, cringing at how fake he sounded. It wasn’t even the appropriate response, but the girl didn’t even seem to notice. Jin was too cute for anything less than one’s full attention, and not for the first time Seung-gil wished he had an uglier dog. Or maybe that he hadn’t taken Jin’s comfort into mind and just forced her to wear the typical noticeable vest of a service dog. God, someone save him.

“There you are!”

Seung-gil turned to look at whoever was addressing this girl, ready to thank them profusely for taking her away. Instead he was surprised to find a warm pair of brown eyes locked with his own.

The boy was… well, pretty. That was the only word Seung-gil could think of as he stared him down.

“…What?”

“Come on, we’re going to be late!” He turned to the sorority girl, smiling and looking apologetic. “I’m sorry, we’re in a bit of a hurry.”

“Oh, no problem! Your dog is just so cute, I couldn’t help myself. Have a nice day!” She waved as they walked away, around the corner into the shade of the physics building – wait, why was Seung-gil walking? Was he being pulled?

Was this mystery stranger holding his hand and tugging him around? What the actual fuck?

“Um, excuse me but…” He had no idea how he was supposed to end that sentence. “What?” That seemed adequate.

The pretty boy turned back and grinned at him, his smile ten thousand times brighter than the one he’d given that girl. Seung-gil had to squint, unable to look at him directly.

“I’m sorry, I just impulsively thought I’d – you’ve been stopped by like a million people. Don’t get me wrong, it’s _super_ funny how every single time you stop and let them pet your adorable dog until they’re good and ready, but I mean _really_. You pretty obviously want them to go away so you can walk your dog in peace – I’m rambling, hi. I’m – no I’m Phichit, and I’m also rambling. Hi.”

Good god. What an intense person.

“Hi,” he muttered, glancing nervously down at the dog in question. He latched onto the only part of that diatribe that had made any sense. “You think she’s adorable?”

This weird Phichit person – what kind of a name was that? Filipino? – scoffed, cheeks coloring. “Please, I _know_ she is.”

“Thanks…” He didn’t really know what he was supposed to do now. Jin was looking up at him, probably sensing his elevated heartbeat and worrying over it. Seung-gil pat her on the head once, and she panted up at him. He liked to think it was her way of smiling.

“See? _Adorable_.”

“…I guess.” Seung-gil shuffled his feet, reluctant to just leave without saying anything. But honestly, what was the social etiquette in this kind of situation? He didn’t know what else he was supposed to say to this boy who'd watched fifteen people stop and pet his dog. He seemed to be some sort of weird, extroverted stalker.

“So I know this is going to sound creepy, but… you live in the international dorm right?”

Seung-gil’s eyes widened in shock. Oh god, he _was_ a stalker. “What."

He started flailing his hands around, face apologetic. “I mean – sorry, I know how it sounds! It’s just, well I live there too! I’ve – I’ve seen you around. Mostly because your dog stands out. And I mean, this college is big but the international dorm is pretty small, and you weren’t here last year, so I mean. You’re noticeable, that’s all.”

Seung-gil was speechless. Absolutely dumbfounded at this complete lack of social grace, and his own capacity to find it endearing.

“Oh god, look – I swear I’m not some stalker, it’s just – say _something_ so I know I’m not totally crazy?”

“I think you might be… totally crazy.” Seung-gil found himself muttering, unable to maintain eye contact for some reason. “But I know Jin attracts a lot of attention.”

“Oh, that’s her name?” It seemed this Phichit guy wasn’t going to comment on the crazy remark. “Well yeah, yeah, it’s your – it’s your dog. Definitely. She’s adorable, and I noticed her.”

“You already said that.”

“Well…” He swallowed, perhaps finally showing his nerves at this bizarre situation. “It’s still true.”

“Well, thanks. Again, I guess.”

Was he done now? Could Seung-gil leave now?

“Are you heading back to the dorm now?”

“Yeah.” Perfect, now he knew that Seung-gil had somewhere to be, and he’d let him go with minimal fuss. Seung-gil could continue on his way, but this time he’d keep his head down as he wove through the throngs of students.

“Perfect, so am I! We can walk together!”

Seung-gil regretted ever wishing to be rescued when faced with a mere sorority girl. Clearly he should’ve saved that wish for this moment.

Phichit led them away from the shade and towards the main quad, Jin loyally bringing up the rear. He turned, heedless of the walkway and stepping directly onto the grass. This trajectory would take them diagonally through campus, into the heart of the student body in the middle of lunchtime.

Seung-gil sighed. “This way is faster, but I’d rather go where there’s less people.”

His uninvited companion turned to smile back at him. “Don’t worry, no one will bother us!”

“Oh really? That’s a pretty bold promise to make.”

“It’s okay, my friend Victor has a dog. As long as you do as I say, no one will bother us or Jin.”

“Really now?” He had to admit, he was genuinely curious. If there was some secret technique for him to make it through a single walk with Jin unbothered, he’d take it. “What is it?”

Phichit smirked playfully. “Are you in?”

He nearly rolled his eyes. Nearly. “Whatever, sure.”

“Alright then!” With that, Phichit took his free hand in his own, grabbing on and swinging their interlocked fingers happily as he led them through the grassy quad.

Seung-gil felt his face heat up. “What – what’re you _doing_?”

“What?” Phichit giggled. “No one is going to stop us if they think we’re a couple!”

He swallowed nervously, hand feeling sweaty and head buzzing under the pressure of having his personal space invaded. “I’m not sure if that’s – if that’s entirely accurate.”

“Holding your hand is phase one. Want to know phase two?”

Seung-gil blinked rapidly, brain trying to process how he got to this point. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know about any other phases. “Okay?”

Phichit turned his big brown eyes on him, giving Seung-gil his undivided attention. “Now we have to be looking at each other. We don’t have to stare, but you have to at least make sure not to make eye contact with anyone else, okay?”

Seung-gil nodded, mouth suddenly dry as he immediately averted his eyes to Jin. As they walked, he glanced intermittently between Jin and his own feet, only every so often looking up to see Phichit staring at him. Thankfully, Phichit could talk enough for the both of them, making Seung-gil’s stress-induced muteness far less awkward than it usually was.

He learned a lot about Phichit Chulanont on that walk across campus. He was really good with animals, and had three hamsters of his own, but couldn’t justify having a dog on campus. He was friends with the guy across the hall from Seung-gil (“Ahaha, isn’t Michele hilarious? So serious, all the time!”) and his sister Sara (“She’s so pretty! It’s impressive how much she knows about makeup.”). He was living on the third floor of the international dorm (“ _So many stairs_.”), which meant he’d technically been walking past Seung-gil every day since the start of term.

Phichit was a Taurus, something he stated and moved on from, as if that properly explained anything. He wanted to be a social media coordinator one day, but wasn’t entirely sure about that plan. His roommate Yuuri Katsuki loved to dance, but balanced his passion with pursuing a degree in mathematics.

By the time they were walking up to the International dorm, Seung-gil wasn’t just tolerating his presence anymore. Even as he automatically committed every new fact to his nearly flawless memory, he found himself tuning out the rest of the campus. They made their way inside, winding their way up the main staircase. Phichit still hadn’t dropped his hand, which was thankfully no longer sweaty.

They got to the second floor, where they both paused, Phichit finally falling quiet about the pros and cons of Nashville as an Instagram filter (a set of words that Seung-gil didn’t wholly understand).

Seung-gil coughed to restart his voice. “Thanks for walking with me.”

Phichit nodded, body language inexplicably bashful all of a sudden. “Sure thing, any time.”

Jin whined, making them both watch as she sat looking up at Phichit. Her tail was beating against the ground, and she panted up at him expectantly.

“I think she wants you to pet her,” Seung-gil sighed, giving in to his pent up tension and rolling his eyes. “I swear she just wears the bandana for attention.”

Phichit laughed, the sound light and warm. “I’ve been holding back this whole time, you know that right?” He was speaking directly to Jin, which was ridiculous because she couldn’t speak English. Seung-gil spoke nearly fluent English, despite their previous one-sided conversation.

Phichit bent down, finally dropping Seung-gil’s hand in exchange for cupping Jin’s head in his hands. He rubbed his palms back and forth over her fur, tan brown half-hidden in white and gray fur.

“So _fluffyyyy_.”

For some reason, Phichit cooing over his dog didn’t make Seung-gil impatient or agitated. In fact, he could feel his cheeks heating up at the boy’s wide smile and warm eyes.

Suddenly uncomfortable, Seung-gil cleared his throat. “We should go.”

“Ah,” Phichit glanced up, running his hands down Jin’s neck one last time. “Sorry, I’m doing exactly what you’d been trying to avoid.”

“No, it’s fine,” he rushed to excuse. “It’s fine when – you earned it. I guess.”

Phichit smiled, straightening up and extending his hand. “Thanks! It was nice to officially meet you Seung-gil.”

Seung-gil reflexively took the hand extended to him, eyebrows high and mouth pressed in a thin line. He nodded, then lightly tugged on Jin’s leash to get her on all fours.

“Um… bye,” he muttered, unable to look this new acquaintance in the eye.

Seung-gil was unlocking and stepping through the door to his floor when Phichit blurted out, “I’ll give you my number! In case you need to walk Jin during peak foot-traffic hours!”

Phichit’s cheek were a light pink as he stared him down, and Seung-gil had absolutely no idea what he was trying to accomplish. “What?”

“Or maybe – I don’t know, I can make a get-together with the people in our building? We were already thinking about doing once since the term just started two weeks ago. We’re all pretty close and you’re new, so maybe it’d be easier to meet them all… at once?”

In what universe would that make sense? How could that sort of an overwhelming interaction be anything but pure torture? “It’s fine, I’ll just see them around.”

Phichit nodded, biting at his bottom lip and staring intensely. “Okay, that’s – I guess that makes sense.”

Realizing how rude he’d sounded, Seung-gil added, “I’ll see you around too.”

That comment made Phichit freeze, then nod tightly. Suddenly he was averting his eyes, and Seung-gil felt bad for whatever he’d said to evoke that kind of response. “Sure, okay. Alright, that’s good. Okay, bye.”

As he watched Phichit half-run up the stairs before he could say anything else, Seung-gil had a strange, out-of-body experience. He thought about the weird, maybe Filipino boy who’d saved him from overly friendly students that loved his dog by holding his hand, staring at him, and talking at him for the entire fifteen minute walk back their shared dorm, Seung-gil found himself tentatively hoping to see him around.

College in a new country would be far less lonely with a human companion, and while Phichit seemed a bit odd, he was nice enough. No, kind was a better word. He was cute, talkative, and fun – everything Seung-gil wasn’t.

Well, Jin seemed to like him, anyway.


	2. Day 2: Staring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I've taken a prompt and loosely attempted to vaguely address it. Kind of.
> 
> Enjoy the new chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> All mistakes are my own, as I am sleep-deprived and my judgment is ridiculous poor right now.

Phichit was trailing slightly after his best friend and his boyfriend, on their way to the library despite it being a Saturday night. Everyone else was out having fun, but Yuuri had an important exam coming up, and Victor was a supportive boyfriend. Yuuri secretly loved studying with others, even though he always wound up completely ignoring whoever he’d conscripted into his latest study session. While Phichit ostensibly had work he should be doing, his restlessness told him he wouldn’t be focusing on any textbooks tonight.

They were talking about Victor’s latest exploits trying to embarrass his younger cousin. Phichit always loved Victor’s stories, losing it over imagining little Yuri’s petulant scowl and foot-stomping. But sweet, kind Yuuri was always supportive of the other Yuri, and made it a point to chastise Victor about teasing his younger cousin. Victor, for his part, never learned.

“And he didn’t even believe me! Isn’t that terrible?”

“I can’t really blame him–”

“ _Yuuri_ , you’re supposed to agree with me!”

“ _Victor_ , this is the fifth time you’re tried to put cat ears on him.”

“Yuuuuri.”

“Viiiictor."

Phichit sighed, begrudgingly enjoying his friends’ antics. It wasn’t their fault that he was single and bitter. He flipped his phone over in his hand, resisting the urge to see what was happening at Guang Hong’s study date across campus.

“Phichit, help me!” Victor turned his wide puppy eyes on him, pulling him out of his bitter, single thoughts. “Tell Yuuri he’s being mean for no reason!”

Yuuri scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You’re just being childish.”

Phichit glanced between them, making sure he was reading the good humor correctly, before adopting his own mock-pout. “Yuuri, how could you be mean to this face?” He gestured towards Victor, fingers creating a frame for his face. “Be nice to this face!”

“Yeah, Yuuri,” Victor mumbled, dialing the dramatics up to ten with a wobbly lower lip. “How could you?”

Yuuri mumbled something about this not even being that big of a deal before turning and stomping off in the direction of the library. Phichit and Victor grinned at each other, high-fiving for getting Yuuri needlessly irritated.

“Aw, don’t be like that!” Victor called out after him, voice full of distress but face smiling wide. “Yuuri, you’re being so dramatic!”

Yuuri spun around and nearly shouted back, “ _Excuse me_?” It took him a few moments, but eventually he noticed them trying to contain their laughter. He planted his feet and crossed his arms. Phichit and Victor wordlessly came up to him, and he only pouted in response, cheeks puffing out slightly.

“I’m not dramatic,” Yuuri mumbled. “Now you guys are just being mean.”

“Aw, we didn’t mean it!” Phichit hurried to excuse themselves, hands waving.

“Yuuri, don’t be mad at us! I’m the worst boyfriend, I wasn’t trying to–”

Yuuri grinned smugly, eyes shining up at Victor’s apologetic expression. Wordlessly he turned and entered the library, not even bothering with a backwards glance.

After letting reality sink in for a few seconds, Phichit patted Victor’s shoulder consolingly. “He got us.”

“…Damn it,” Victor mumbled. “He’s so cute, so he always wins in the end.”

Phichit laughed at that, tugging lightly at Victor’s arm. “We better follow him before it takes us ten minutes to hunt him down.”

Victor complained about Yuuri always picking hidden away corner tables, but Phichit’s body froze, brain short-circuiting and preventing him from listening properly. Sitting behind the circulation desk was Phichit’s stand-offish straight crush Lee Seung-gil. He was coolly flipping through a book, so he thankfully hadn’t noticed Phichit yet.

Victor bumped into him from behind. “Hey,” Victor groaned. “What’re you doing just stopping like that?”

Without a second thought, Phichit pulled Victor in front of him, hunching over to hide himself as much as possible.

“Um… Phichit?”

“Please don’t ask any questions,” Phichit whined pitifully. “Just get me past the desk, okay?”

“Seriously?” Phichit nodded, and Victor hummed in assent before slowly shuffling forward. Phichit moved around his body so that he was always hidden from Seung-gil’s view. He didn’t know if he succeeded or not, but Victor was blatantly staring at Seung-gil, so Phichit wouldn’t be surprised if Seung-gil looked up and saw Phichit hiding from him. Oh god, now he was _definitely_ going to think Phichit was a stalker.

He _wasn’t_. It wasn’t his fault he always saw Seung-gil around campus! It wasn’t like he stole his hair or followed him home, he was just noticeable!

Once they were safely around the corner and out of sight of the circulation desk, Victor burst out in muffled laughter. “What the hell was that?” He whispered urgently, barely managing to keep his voice down.

“Stop, stop!” Phichit batted at him, even though he felt his incriminating blush heating his cheeks. “It’s nothing, okay?”

“ _Nothing_? Do you think I’m stupid?”

“No, it’s just – ugh, I’ll tell you later!”

Phichit dashed off, trying not to make too much noise in his getaway. He didn’t want to incur the wrath of the circulation desk attendant.

Victor, on the other hand, had no such reservations. Despite his typical grace and magnanimous personality, Victor seemed to enjoy noisily following behind him, asking questions and saying outrageous things to try to get his attention.

“Is he your baby daddy? Do you owe him money? Did you meet him in the dark corner of a party and do shameless things to him?”

Phichit kept his mouth resolutely shut, hoping to reach Yuuri before he blurted anything out. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Victor to know, it was just… well, it was embarrassing! To be so thoroughly shot down by a beautiful guy who was as cold as ice, Phichit felt stupid for even having tried anything. Yuuri would be far more lenient in his account of things, which was preferable to Phichit’s typical just-say-what’s-on-your-mind approach to romance.

It didn’t take them long to find Yuuri in his usual corner table deep in the bowels of the Library Judaica. Why he always chose this section of the immense building, no one really knew. Maybe it was his aversion to ever sitting in the middle of a room, or the fact that most students didn’t come down here, or maybe it was the blocked AC unit that made the corner a prime location for napping.

Victor always claimed that it was private while waggling his eyebrows, which always made Yuuri laugh nervously before berating Victor and assuring Phichit that nothing had ever happened at the table. Phichit always chose the same chair, just in case.

“Yuuri,” Victor clapped his hands together, obviously giddy at Phichit’s pain. “You won’t believe what just happened!”

Yuuri looked up as they approached, then smiled consolingly at Phichit, earlier teasing entirely forgotten. “I saw him behind the desk.”

Phichit sniffed, dropping into his chair and wrapping himself up in the hug Yuuri offered. “He’s so pretty."

“I know.”

“It’s not _fair_.”

“I know.”

Victor sat across from them, frowning. “Aw, you already know about this?”

Yuuri shrugged, and Phichit held him tighter. Voice low, he asked, “Can I tell him?”

“Obviously,” Phichit muttered petulantly. “Don’t make me retell my failures.”

Yuuri went on to explain the whole backstory to Phichit’s struggle with the newest international student – about how he’d seen him and his dog on move-in day at the international dorm, promptly began obsessing over this idol-grade gorgeous guy, and then one day decided to try to be a hero instead of meeting Yuuri for a late lunch like they’d planned.

Phichit let his thoughts drift off, having already lived through the next series of sad events once, and he had no desire to relive them.

Most of his shame came from the fact that Seung-gil was a complete enigma, but he’d _still_ tried to make a move on him. No one in the dorm knew anything about him except Michele and Sara, who forced him out to lunch at Sara’s request. The three of them were just friendly enough to wave when walking past one another, and that was it.

Lee Seung-gil was a mystery, and Phichit’s curiosity was slowly killing him. He knew _everyone_ in the international dorm. They were all following each other on Instagram, had movie nights every so often. Hell, all of Phichit’s best friends came from that damn building. How did this complete stranger think he could just walk in _without_ an Instagram?

But more importantly, his stupid handsome face was always either blank or scowling. Did he experience emotion? Phichit couldn’t entirely tell. Also, was that stupid face gay? Phichit was surprised to find himself kind of hoping he was gay.

Phichit realized their table had fallen silent, and he emerged from Yuuri’s shoulder to find twin smiles of pity aimed at him.

“Oh, Phichit,” Victor muttered, trailing off and shaking his head.

“Shut _up_ ,” Phichit moaned, pulling away and yanking his baseball hat down to cover his face. “I was stupid, okay?”

“Is he even into guys?”

“How should I know?”

“Well I’m sorry, but what did you expect to happen?”

Phichit pouted. “You’re one to talk.”

Yuuri giggled at that. “Yeah Victor, you’re proof that it only takes one encounter to win someone over.”

“But Yuuri,” Victor sighed. “That’s ridiculous, you’re perfect. I’m not _blind_.”

Yuuri’s cheeks colored, but he refused to comment. “I think that Phichit took a big risk, and just because it didn’t pay off doesn’t mean he should feel bad about it.” Yuuri pat his shoulder in solidarity, and he resisted the urge to hug him again.

“I guess,” Victor admitted, crossing his arms casually. “But I still think it’s more funny than tragic.”

“You’re so heartless,” Phichit rolled his eyes. “I’m heartbroken, here.”

“No, you’re just embarrassed,” Victor grinned teasingly.

“…You’re right.”

They did _eventually_ get around to studying. Yuuri had stopped mid-sentence, only a few minutes into a hilarious story about Phichit’s freshman-year crush, only to complain that he really needed to study for his thermodynamics exam in peace. Victor had just rolled with it, used to Yuuri’s stress-induced distractibility by now. He’d smiled and happily handed Yuuri his headphones so he could concentrate better, and Yuuri smiled back gratefully. Phichit rated that adorable display six stars out of five.

Phichit spent about thirty minutes just mindlessly scrolling through social media, rationalizing it as doing research for his media and marketing class. Honestly, he just didn’t feel like doing any work, and if the glazed look in Victor’s eyes was anything to go by, he was in a similar state of impasse. It was a Saturday night, damn it.

The way Victor nonchalantly flipped through his textbook reminded Phichit of a certain circulation desk attendant. Phichit recalled the way he’d looked earlier, stunning face blank with boredom, his unavailability making him that much more intriguing.

Hmmm… what would Seung-gil do when faced with the boy he’d shot down so thoroughly?

Phichit stood up slowly and stretched, plan starting to solidify. “I need some energy,” he yawned exaggeratedly. “I think I’ll go get some coffee. Want anything?”

If Victor and Yuuri thought he was being weird, they didn’t show it. “No thanks,” Yuuri muttered, not looking up from his furious scribbling. Victor just waved, smiling sweetly.

With that, Phichit was free. He gingerly walked between the shelves, weaving his way back to the front of the library. The entry was wide, ceiling tall and imposing. Students rarely sat at the sparse tables here, as the amount of foot-traffic was too distracting for most. A nearby alcove yielded the library’s in-house coffee shop. He’d have to stop by later just to support his pretense.

Phichit snuck through the aisle closest to the circulation desk, peaking around the corner slowly and carefully. From this angle he could see Jin’s fluffy dog butt, and he had to resist the urge to melt.

Seung-gil was currently talking to a student who appeared to be checking out a book. He barely looked at her, his profile appearing uninterested in whatever she was saying in favor of efficiently scanning her book. He handed it back to her, saying something and cutting her off mid-sentence. She reached out for the book, brushing her fingers over Seung-gil’s. Phichit rolled his eyes, familiar with every trick in the great-big-book-of-flirting by now.

But Seung-gil was entirely unphased, expression blank and bored. The girl walked off, holding the book close and staring down at the floor as she walked straight out of the library. Seung-gil didn’t even watch her go, instead turning to his desktop and typing rapidly.

God, what a terrifying guy. If that interaction was anything to go by, then Phichit didn’t feel too bad being rebuffed the other day.

Sure, Phichit wanted him to have friends, but that bad attitude was beyond overcoming. Sara is a ball of sunshine, and even she couldn’t melt that frosty exterior beyond the occasional passing wave of acknowledgment. Phichit should just give up on his curiosity, content himself with the knowledge that the beautiful are always unattainable for some reason or another and go back to his friends.

But first, he needed that coffee cup.

Hands in his pockets, Phichit lazily shuffled over to the miniature coffee shop. After ordering an expectedly over-priced latte from the stereotypically aloof barista, Phichit leaned against the low counter while he wanted. He hummed to himself pointlessly, bored already with the conclusion he’d come to regarding Lee Seung-gil.

He heard a shuffling sound, and turned towards the circulation desk in time to see a massive husky come barreling towards him. In seconds he was down, knocked over by the cutest monster he’d ever seen.

“What the – _Jin_ , bad dog!” At the string of rapid-fire Korean, Phichit looked up to realize that his eyes weren’t lying to him. The creature panting in his face and licking his nose was in fact Seung-gil’s dog, and Seung-gil himself was in fact standing over him. Even now, his face was infuriatingly blank.

“I’m sorry,” Seung-gil rushed to apologize, hands fluttering between reaching to help him up and reaching to restrain his dog. “She’s still so poorly behaved – oh.”

As he realized exactly who he was talking to, Phichit smiled understandingly. “It’s fine. Your dog is cute, so I’ll forgive it this once.”

“Oh. Yes, thank you,” he muttered, frowning down at Jin – who was still half on-top of Phichit.

“Could you… As cute as she is, I’d love to get up now.”

“ _Oh_ , of course, I’m so sorry!” Seung-gil hurriedly pulled Jin’s collar back, pulling her into a sitting position and freeing up Phichit’s legs. His hands once again did a sort of weird jerking motion, but he ultimately didn’t help Phichit to his feet. _Rude_.

“It’s fine, no harm done,” Phichit smiled as he got up, feeling its lack of sincerity but still hoping to project a steadier persona than he was currently feeling. He reached out to pat Jin’s head, which made her tail start wagging like crazy.

“I’m still trying to train her,” Seung-gil explained, voice low and embarrassed. “But I barely have the time, and she’s so strong.”

He glanced up to find Seung-gil’s face actually showing… what was that, shame? Phichit didn’t let his eyes linger too long, still feeling awkward about everything – especially after staring at him while hidden behind a bookshelf.

“Don’t feel bad!” Would jokes defuse the tension? Seung-gil's sense of humor was completely unknown (and possibly might not even exist), but Phichit figured he’d try anyway. “I came up here so coffee could wake me up, but getting body-slammed by a cute dog works just as well.”

“I’m so…”

“I wish she’d been just five minutes sooner, then I wouldn’t have had to pay for a latte at all!”

“…I’m really sorry.”

Jokes weren’t working.

“Don’t feel bad, I mean it,” Phichit said seriously, locking eyes with Seung-gil in an attempt at conveying sincerity. When he nodded in response, Phichit couldn’t hold his smile back. “Sooo, long time no see.”

“Yeah.”

“What brings you guys to the library this late on a Saturday?”

“I…” Seung-gil wrung his hands together, attracting Jin’s attention. “I work at the front desk.”

“Oh really? You’re new to campus, so you’ve been here what… three weeks now?”

“Yeah.”

“Nice. They must really like you, they usually take forever to hire someone here. Is it a hard job?”

“Not really.”

“Oh… Anything crazy happen yet since you started working here?”

“…Not really.”

It was like _pulling teeth_ trying to get Seung-gil to actually carry on a conversation. Was he still that embarrassed? Whatever, Phichit had other options in this interaction. He crouched down next to Jin, and her wide smile and panting tongue swung back around in his direction.

“Long time no see, pup,” Phichit smiled, voice going a bit high as he talked to her. “Did you miss me?”

Her tail started wagging again, paws shifting on the tile floor.

“Did you miss me? Hm?”

Jin struggled against Seung-gil’s hold, but he held her back firmly.

“You…”

Phichit looked up to find Seung-gil watching him closely, lips pressed firmly together.

“Hm?”

“You can pet her. If you want.”

Phichit beamed, excitedly reaching out to run his thumbs over Jin’s fluffy ears. “You hear that? We can be best friends,” he cooed. Jin panted her approval, head lolling to the side under the attention.

He didn’t really know what to do now. He didn’t know how to just stop petting Jin, because doing so would mean going back to interacting with Seung-gil, who was still cripplingly embarrassed and blatantly using his adorable dog to smooth things over. Phichit was just started to consider making a break for it, standoffish dormmate and over-priced latte be damned, when a familiar face rounded the corner to the coffee shop.

“Phichit, Yuuri sent me to check on – why, hello there!”

Hands still buried in Jin’s mane, Phichit nearly wept with gratitude. “Victor! Hi!”

Victor waved, but ultimately brushed off Phichit’s overenthusiastic greeting, extending a hand to Seung-gil instead. “Hi, I’m Victor Nikiforov! I’m Phichit’s friend.”

Seung-gill nodded, then seemed to remember that he should give out his name too. “Lee Seung-gil,” he muttered, grabbing Victor’s hand and letting go as quickly as possible.

“Nice to meet you!” Victor gave Seung-gil a quick once over. Phichit glimpsed his moment of critical judgment because he’d seen it so many times (usually directed at people who stood just a _little_ too close to Yuuri while talking to him), and he wondered exactly what it was for.

Victor went on, blankly friendly smile somehow turning intimidating. “We were actually studying together earlier, but he left to get some coffee. He’s been gone so long, so my boyfriend was starting to get worried. They’re best friends, it’s really quite heart-warming.”

“Oh, that’s my fault,” Seung-gil responded, voice low and apologetic.

He rolled his eyes. Although he was being indirect, Phichit could see Victor’s protectiveness looming from miles away. While it was sweet that Victor felt the need to defend his honor in front of the guy who’d shot him down, Phichit really didn’t want to make Seung-gil feel worse about himself than he already did after Jin’s enthusiastic greeting.

Phichit laughed lightly in an attempt at unruffling Victor’s feathers. “Yeah, his vicious dog attacked me.” He grabbed Jin’s face in both hands, turning her in Victor’s direction. “Look at this _face_. Isn’t she terrifying?”

Jin panted in response, looking between Phichit, her owner, and this new person. Victor could only keep on his cold smile for a few more seconds before he was crouching on the floor next to Phichit, grinning at the irresistible husky.

“ _What a cute dog_!” Victor cooed, petting along her snout and cheeks. Jin preened under the motion, panting harder from all the excitement. Phichit grinned at her cute little face, looking to Seung-gil to ask about her age. He fell silent when he saw that Seung-gil was carefully watching them both, hands carefully folded and jaw tense (well, more tense than usual).

“We should really get back to studying, right Victor?” Phichit stood up, jabbing Victor’s shoulder in the process just to emphasize how non-negotiable that was. “Yuuri is waiting for us.”

“I guess,” Victor pouted, but ultimately followed Phichit’s lead. “Seung-gil, your dog is amazing.”

“Thanks…” He muttered, not meeting their eyes.

Victor started to slowly back away, giving Phichit teasingly smug looks behind Seung-gil’s back. Phichit nearly rolled his eyes again.

“I wasn’t lying before when I said I don’t need my coffee anymore,” Phichit said, voice low in an attempt to exclude Victor and get him to back off. “Would you like it?”

Seung-gil looked ready to protest, but followed Phichit motioning towards the shop’s low countertop. The aloof barista from before was staring at all of them as if they were insane.

Phichit raised his eyebrow in question. “Latte?”

The girl turned incredulous, brow furrowing. “Are you guys for real? This is a fucking library, not the set of a TV drama.”

Phichit blushed, suddenly very aware that this girl had watched _everything_ that’d just happened.

“Give him my coffee, I don’t want it,” Phichit rushed, face steadily heating up under the barista’s disbelieving expression. “Bye Seung-gil, see you around!”

With a quick pat to Jin’s head and a wave to her owner, Phichit yanked a cackling Victor around the corner and away from the scene of the crime.

“I can’t _wait_ to tell Yuuri about this!” He barely managed to get out between breaths. “I know he won’t already know the story this time!”

Phichit groaned, resigned to his fate to always embarrass himself in front of Lee Seung-gil and his dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed this update! [And so that I know if I'm doing alright, despite my exhaustion B) ]


	3. Day 3: Pastel Punk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's a thousand years too late for SeungChuChu week 2, but was so in love with the idea of a college AU that they wrote more for it anyway?
> 
> I'm officially making this a multiwork college AU series, but first I need to get the drabble-like chapters written for this ultra late contest submission!
> 
> Enjoy <3

When Yuuri had first met Phichit, he’d had a difficult time understanding the boy. Both of them spoke perfectly fluent English, having moved to the United States in elementary school. Neither of them had any sort of foreign accent, and they were aware of all the latest slang terms. Even so, Yuuri wasn’t ashamed to admit that sometimes, it was _Phichit_ that he just couldn’t understand.

“So it’s called pastel… punk?”

Phichit laughed at him, but Yuuri was genuinely lost.

“Yeah, exactly.” Phichit went serious, scrolling through his phone for appropriate examples to show him. “It’s not massively popular these days, but it was huge a few years ago – mostly online. I think it would be a fun throwback look to try!”

“Really?” Yuuri frowned, ignoring his dry physics textbook in favor of leaning over and squinting at the small screen. “I think it’d photograph well, and that’s it.”

“Well duh, why _else_ would I do it? I’m going to look amazing!”

He had a point there. Phichit was notorious on their floor for arranging furniture, hanging up painted sets of sheets, installing Christmas lights – _anything_ to make his Instagram pictures stand out. On one memorable occasion he’d broken onto their building’s roof and set up an entire beach scene, complete with blow-up palm trees and beach chairs he’d gotten from god only knew where.

Phichit was hardcore about his social media, especially Instagram, and was looking to revive old trends for his Throwback Thursday posts that would look good with filters set below 40%. Yuuri was proud that he knew what _any_ of that meant.

“You’re still going to take the pictures for me, right Yuuri?”

“Yeah, yeah, I will.”

“You’re the only one who can get my angles right. Don’t flake out on me.”

“Wait wait wait, I’m confused.” Victor had only moved to America for university, so he was operating with two years of practical English and five years of schooling to get him through his days in Detroit. Unlike Yuuri, he was entirely lost when Phichit got like this. “What’s ‘pastel’ again?”

Phichit smiled across the table at him, used to Victor randomly not knowing words that he and Yuuri consider basic. “It’s a type of color grouping. It’s like… light?”

Yuuri sighed at Phichit’s approach, whipping out his phone to explain. “Think of basic colors, like purple, blue, green, whatever. Then imagine if you added some white to make them paler. That’s pastel.” Finishing, he angled his phone to Victor so he could see the search results for pastel color charts.

“Oh, there’s an English name for that?”

Yuuri nodded, about to go into artistic terms like value and hue (he was momentarily grateful for his high school stint in art club) when Phichit’s lack of attention caught his own. He was staring off across the lawn behind their building, watching a figure approaching in the distance – a figure and their dog.

“Phichit, stop torturing yourself, it’s embarrassing to watch,” Yuuri chastised, elbowing him.

Lee Seung-gil was all the way across the lawn from them, standing and rummaging in his bag next to some shady trees. Jin – his overly-excitable dog, according to Victor – was running up and down the steep hillside.

Phichit had tried talking to him several times since the library, chatting in hallways, waving from across roads, abandoning Yuuri at breakfast just to go pester Seung-gil in line. Whenever he could, he was engaging the Korean guy, and it seemed pretty apparent that his efforts weren’t going anywhere.

“Aw, come on Yuuri! Humor me!” Too bad Phichit’s puppy eyes meant nothing to him anymore.

Every time Phichit talked to the guy, Yuuri had the same sinking suspicions clawing into his thoughts. He didn’t want to ruin Phichit’s fun, but… “Phichit, you’ve had like two real conversations with him. You can’t _actually_ like him yet.”

Phichit’s face went from normal to bright red in half a second.

Victor burst out laughing, slapping his open textbook. “Wait, _really_? I didn’t think you actually – _really_?”

“Shut up, stop laughing!” Phichit threw a ball of paper at Victor, which only made him laugh harder. He said something about a dog and a coffeeshop girl, and Yuuri knew he was referencing the library encounter that really kickstarted everything. His light laughter made Yuuri want to join in, but someone had to be the reasonable one right now.

“You barely know him!” Yuuri crossed his arms, huffing at Phichit’s naivete. “He’s probably straight, which means you’re needlessly torturing yourself.”

“I can’t help it!” Phichit covered his face with his hands, unsuccessfully hiding his shame from Victor, who’d devolved into helpless giggles, and Yuuri’s reproach. “He’s just – I don’t know, there’s something about him!”

“Oooo, something about who?”

The three of them froze, then turned to stare dumbly at their sudden addition.

“Oh, hi Sara,” Victor greeted, recovering easily enough. “Phichit has a crush on Seung-gil!”

“Wait, really?”

“VICTOR!”

Yuuri sighed, blushing in secondhand embarrassment for his friend. “Don’t just _tell_ people, Victor!”

“Why, is it a secret?”

“Don’t play innocent,” Yuuri gave him a flatly unimpressed look. “You know exactly what you’re doing.”

Meanwhile, Sara seemed to light up. “Oh, you should go for it! He’s so lonely here, and I’m sure he’d say yes!”

“What?”

“Are you _joking_?”

Before they could work themselves up over how _ridiculous_ that was, their small group grew even more.

“What’re you guys shouting about?” Michele was walking over, rubbing at his eyes like he’d just woken up from a nap.

“Phichit wants to confess to Seung-gil, isn’t that great?”

“Sara, _stop_ ,” Phichit whined, face burning even brighter. “He’s really not into me, not even as friends.”

“What? That’s not true, he talks about you a lot.”

They all fell silent. Yuuri kind of wished he could teleport somewhere else and hear about it after the fact, because living through all this drama was shaving years off of his life. As he couldn’t, Yuuri would just have to sit here silently and watch this volcano erupt while still on the island.

“He _has_?” Phichit was gaping up at Sara disbelievingly.

“ _Nyet nyet_ that can’t be true.”

“HE _HAS_?!”

Michele laughed. “Dude, he thinks you’re super annoying.”

“Don’t be like that Mickey, he’s never said that!”

“He’s always like, ‘there’s this weird guy who won’t leave me alone, what do I do?’ I feel bad for him.”

“ _Mickey_ ,” Sara slapped him on the shoulder, frowning. “Go away, you’re not helping!”

Victor was back to laughing, and Phichit looked like his soul was leaving his body. What an emotional rollercoaster.

“He’s exaggerating Phichit, don’t worry!” Sara waved off her brother’s comments with an easy smile. “He mentions you because you go out of your way to talk to him a lot, which I think is very sweet of you.”

Phichit hid his face in his arms. “I’m just _bothering_ him, aren’t I?” Yuuri decided to rub his back soothingly.

“No, that’s not what I meant!” Sara looked horrified at what she and Michele had done.

“Honestly man, you should just give up,” Michele sighed, expression both amused and pitying. Yuuri glared at him, but he wasn’t paying any attention to him.

Sure, he was saying exactly what Yuuri had been saying earlier. But while Yuuri had been coming from a place of caring, Michele just seemed to enjoy torturing Phichit unnecessarily.

“I don’t know, maybe you can win him over?” Even Victor was at least trying to help, and he approved exactly as much as Yuuri did.

But Yuuri had absolutely no idea what to say. All he could do was rub his best friends back and hope for the best.

A loud bark had them all jumping. Jin was sitting at the head of their table, wagging her tail and gazing up at Phichit with love in her eyes.

If Jin was here, then soon she’d be followed by–

“Hi.”

“Hi! Seung-gil!” Sara smiled and waved, adopting her friendly demeanor easily.

Everyone else just stared at him, which seemed to make Seung-gil uncomfortable.

“Jin came over, so I thought I’d – well, I know all of you, so I thought it’d be weird not to say hello.”

This was the first time Yuuri had ever heard the guy speak. He had a noticeable accent, but otherwise his English grammar seemed good. He looked uncomfortable, but that was logical given five people were staring at him and saying absolutely nothing.

Every so often throughout their friendship, Phichit would do things that seemed to rebel against basic logic. He’d make mental jumps with no links between thoughts, basically “winging it” to see what’d happen. Sometimes this would end in bitter failure, but more often than not he wound up defying the universe and succeeding – like when he got Yuuri and Victor together through homemade banana chips. This was one of those times.

Reaching out and tugging Seung-gil down onto the bench next to him, Phichit shoved his phone in his face. “Do you think I’d look good in something this?”

Sara and Michele looked rightfully confused, but Yuuri met Victor’s eyes to find a matching look of understanding, curiosity, and fear.

The pastel punk pictures.

They all watched as Seung-gil uncrossed his eyes and leaned back a bit, trying to focus on what he was suddenly being shown from inches away. For his part, he seemed to go with Phichit’s flow easily enough, which was a good sign.

When he continued to stay silent, Phichit swiped his thumb to scroll down further through the post. “So, what do you think?”

Seung-gil looked Phichit up and down and frowned. “But you look fine now…?”

Victor stifled his nervous giggles, but Sara didn’t even try.

“No, I mean – it’d just be for a day. A few hours, tops.”

“Oh… why?”

“For Instagram. Do you think I could pull off this look?”

Seung-gil looked back at the phone, and Phichit obligingly continued scrolling through it.

After a few moments of group-wide tension, Seung-gil nodded. “I like this one.”

“Could I pull it off?” Instead of tilting his phone towards himself, Phichit leaned into Seung-gil’s personal space to see the photo alongside him. “Oh, you picked a good one.”

Yuuri was one of five watching Seung-gil, looking for any shred of a reaction.

“Thanks.”

They didn’t get one.

Victor sighed, looking back at Sara to share a commiserating look. Michele looked almost bored, checking his phone.

“Hey Seung-gil, what about…” Yuuri was not prepared for all eyes – even Jin’s – to be trained on him, but he had to do this. An idea had popped into his head, and he’d be stupid not to risk it. For his best friend, he’d survive being the off-stage center of attention for a little bit.

“You see, I promised Phichit I’d take the picture with him, but I have a huge exam coming up that I should really focus on.” He motioned towards his open textbook for added authenticity, all the while avoiding the eyes of everyone except Seung-gil. “If you have the time, would you mind dressing up and posing for this picture with Phichit in my place?”

Dead silence.

“Um, sure, I guess.”

Their table erupted, Yuuri’s small clap of delight drowned out by Michele’s dumbstruck, “ _What_?” and Victor jumping up to hug Sara, the two of them practically squealing in delight. Phichit was watching Seung-gil, but his cheeks colored pink at his friends’ antics.

Despite Victor’s loud display of enthusiasm, Yuuri was close enough to hear Phichit ask, “Are you sure? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Seung-gil was practically staring at Phichit, weirdly intent as he struggled to answer. “No, it’s fine. It’d be… fun? Maybe.”

Yuuri leaned in a bit to see the screen of Phichit’s phone. “Any reason you chose this picture?”

The guy on the screen had dark skin and was sporting soft pink highlights, a baby blue shirt with a white square, and white pants. The “punk” aspect was a pair of black cuff bracelets and earrings, significantly lacking compared to the other pictures Yuuri had been shown earlier.

Seung-gil glanced at Phichit, then leaned down to pat Jin’s expectant head. “I don’t know, I don’t like most of the pictures.”

“Oh, really?” Phichit ducked down to try to regain eye contact, but Seung-gil wasn’t having it. “Why’s that?”

He shrugged.

“I don’t like the look that much either,” Yuuri admitted, wanting to drag Seung-gil into this conversation just as much as Phichit did. For some reason, he seemed to respond better to Yuuri’s gentle prodding than Phichit’s heavy-handed approaches.

Phichit mock-pouted, at odds with his happily shining eyes. “Et tu, Yuuri?”

Rubbing his neck awkwardly, Yuuri smiled at the question in Seung-gil’s otherwise blank expression. “I just think it’s a bit immature, that’s all. What about you?”

Seung-gil shrugged again, but at least this time he answered. “It just looks lame.”

“Whaaaat,” Phichit groaned, staring intently at the other pictures on his phone. “I was so into this in high school. I guess I could do another trend, but I already have like half the stuff for a pastel punk look…”

“No, I didn’t mean–” Seung-gil cut himself off when they looked at him, but he cleared his throat and went on. “I don’t like the look in general, but I think that outfit would look good – or I mean, something like it would look good.”

Phichit raised his eyebrows. “It would look good?”

“I mean… yeah?”

“On Phichit?” Yuuri clarified.

“Yeah.”

Phichit beamed at him, turning the full heat of is happiness on Seung-gil. “Aw, thanks!”

Yuuri watched Seung-gil nod, pressing his lips together and glancing away. Jin whined, resting her head on his thigh, and Seung-gil absentmindedly stroked his fingers through her fur.

Oh, was Jin…?

“I’m in the dancing club,” Yuuri said, recognizing the silence and unwilling to let it drag on too long. “A lot of dancers here also do drama, so I have access to the drama department’s props and wardrobe. That’s how Phichit gets away with a lot of his crazy Instagram ideas. Other times, it seems like he makes props out of thin air.”

Seung-gil rolled his eyes. “I don’t have an Instagram, but Phichit has shown me his.”

“Yeah, because it’s _amazing_!”

Yuuri laughed, and he even saw Seung-gil’s lips quirk in an attempt at smiling.

He was about to dive back in, helping Phichit engage with a boy who definitely didn’t handle stress well, but was pulled back by a light tap on his shoulder.

“Hey Yuuri.” He turned, looking up at Victor’s wide blue eyes. His boyfriend leaned down close to his ear and muttered, “You’re absolutely amazing, how’d you think of that?”

When Victor leaned back his eyes were twinkling with good humor and pride, smile small and heart-like. Yuuri couldn’t help smiling up at him, pushing some of his pale hair behind his ear.

“Not sure, it just came to me,” he muttered, smiling happily back at him.

Victor pressed a quick kiss onto the top of his head. “ _Lyubov_ _moya,_ you’re so sneaky.”

He preened under the praise, happy to have somehow impressed Victor in such a simple way. “Where’d Michele and Sara go?”

“Michele got a call, but they didn’t want to ‘disturb the flow’ as Sara put it. So they just left, and told me to tell everyone bye and _grazie_ for the show.”

Yuuri nodded, glancing back at Phichit and Seung-gil. They were talking about when their schedules overlapped so they could set aside an entire evening for the photo shoot. Seung-gil glanced between Yuuri and Victor once, then kept his eyes trained on Phichit, expression unchanging.

“I told him we were dating last time in the library,” Victor muttered, lips brushing lightly against his ear. “He seemed fine with it.”

Yuuri hummed, still distracted with trying to listen in. But sweet Victor seemed to really want his attention, so he went on.

“Phichit told me it was stupid to be defensive when he hadn’t even met you yet, but I was totally right! You guys get along too well, obviously.”

Yuuri smirked up at him, entirely forgetting about the other conversation now. “Wait, seriously?”

“I’m a possessive person, Yuuri!” Victor was pouting, but Yuuri could tell there was only teasing behind it. “You know this about me.”

For some reason that set him off, giggling at his boyfriend’s half-feigned jealousy. “That’s so stupid!”

“Stupid? I’m sorry, are you laughing at me? My Yuuri is so cruel!”

“No – it’s not–”

“I’m going to cry, _solnyshko_.”

All in all, it was a good afternoon. Seung-gil and Phichit finally separated once Jin was getting antsy. Seung-gil needed to take her for a walk, but only made it as far as standing up before Phichit jumped at the chance to get his phone number – to coordinate for the photo shoot, obviously.

When Seung-gil was finally rounding the corner of their building, backpack and dog in tow, Yuuri and Victor broke out in applause.

“I think that went well!”

“Oh Phichit, you’re not completely hopeless after all!”

Phichit hid his bright red face in his hands, grinning like crazy. “Can we not talk about it?”

“No way! My Yuuri put on such a fantastic performance.”

“Oh yeah!” Phichit swiveled to stare at Yuuri with teary, thankful eyes. “You’re amazing,” he muttered dramatically.

“It was nothing, honestly.” He ran his fingers through his hair anxiously, uncomfortable at the gratitude. “It was kind of spontaneous.”

“ _Amazing_.”

Based on Phichit’s Instagram post that Thursday – he and Seung-gil had matching pink hair and were standing close together, Phichit pressing a light kiss to his cheek while Seung-gil looked surprised – the photo shoot seemed to go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for more updates in the coming weeks


	4. Day 4: Showtunes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung-gil's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have the chapter I'd written back in December and finished editing tonight<3

Seung-gil has experienced forceful compulsions since he was a small kid. His mom was convinced he developed these habits from school, but he had vivid memories of his childhood before preschool, aligning his crayons in order by length and throwing one away every time another broke so as to maintain an even numbered set.

After years of behavioral therapy and a mild medication, his neurosis barely touched him anymore. Now it was primarily high amounts of stress that’d trigger his OCD, and it would usually manifest in counting, ensuring even numbers, and searching for patterns.

His mother and sister had been appropriately concerned when he expressed a desire to attend university abroad, but his father had been uncharacteristically supportive. With his blessing, the family fell in line, but his mother insisted on him at least taking Jin with him. They all saw Seung-gil off at the airport despite the foolish nature of his quest to push his own boundaries, and he was grateful for their ability to paste on calm smiles for him.

He’d chosen a fairly nondescript university in the States, allowing him a less stressful academic experience while also honing his English-speaking skills. The lively hotbeds along either coast were confusing, so he stayed inland. He also chose this university because of its robust international student program and pet-friendly single dorms.

Seung-gil was currently laying back on his bed, greatly appreciating having said single room. Living with another person and coping with another set of habits would’ve been far too stressful, so he was simply taking a moment to be thankful for his sole canine roommate.

A couple weeks ago he’d mentioned to Leo, who he'd met through Phichit, that he didn’t understand a lot of the music references Phichit made. He’d promptly dropped what he was holding (an entire cup of coffee) to run to his room and come back with his laptop. He’d assigned nearly a thousand songs between five Spotify playlists by the time they were both too exhausted to continue, and since then Seung-gil had spent most of his down time listening to American music.

Leo had made a playlist for the top-40’s Phichit was so fond of quoting in casual conversation. He’d also made ones for “oldies” albums and classic rock; while not all of it was to his taste, he still felt the need to give every song at least a chance. Reading through the English lyrics as he listened to each song, Seung-gil was having far less trouble understanding lyrical English, and he was silently grateful to Leo for that at the very least.

There was also something in music that Seung-gil found… satisfying. The way the whole work came together despite its disparate parts was somehow soothing to his OCD, and he wasn’t about to question anything that reduced his stress-induced anxiety. Living in a foreign country was difficult enough, but adding social obligations and lectures to that... well, Seung-gil was happy to put his earphones in on his walk back to his room if it meant unruffling the feathers of his anxiety.

The feelings of the current playlist Leo sent him a link to were sad, but comforting. It was amazing how good music could convey a message even when one couldn’t understand every single word.

A tapered knock at his door pulled Seung-gil from his imaginings of the sensation of heartbreak. He stood up to straighten his comforter before going to answer the door. Thumbing off the sad acoustic intro to a Rolling Stones song, Seung-gil opened the door without needing to glance through the peep-hole – only one person knocked like that.

“Leo told me you’re musically illiterate,” Phichit said by way of greeting. He was casually leaning against the doorframe, backpack slung over one shoulder and a teasing smile disproportionately lighting up his entire face. “So I’m here to teach you the language of my people through my favorite medium.”

“Your people?”

“The youth of America.”

He leaned against the other door frame and squinted at him. “Isn’t your favorite medium social media?”

Jin came bounding over, pushing her nose between Seung-gil’s knees to get a better look at their visitor, tongue lolling out in her excitement. Seung-gil had never seen her react to a person like she did to Phichit. While it was mildly concerning, she had yet to repeat anything as extreme as the library fiasco, so Seung-gil wasn’t as cautious these days.

“You two are too adorable,” Phichit laughed, voice light and playful. “And nope, television!”

Seung-gil wrinkled his nose in distaste. “One, your addiction to TV is a problem.” Phichit rolled his eyes, but didn’t fight him on that. “And two, I don’t want whatever music you have to offer.”

“What? I’m hurt!” Phichit mock-pouted, turning his sad look to full power. “Leo said you wanted to get closer to me through music though–” Leo was a liar, and a dead man. “–So isn’t it better to get it straight from me?”

Seung-gil sighed, but ultimately stepped aside to let Phichit in. Jin sat obediently at his feet, but her quickly wagging tail told him she was holding back. “Fine, what did you have in mind?”

Phichit grinned, rummaging in his backpack as he plopped down on the edge of Seung-gil’s bed. He pulled out his laptop triumphantly and began to explain. “So you didn’t respond that positively to The King and the Skater–”

“The worst movie ever made.”

“But you seemed to enjoy the musical parts, right?”

“…Maybe.”

Seung-gil was more than a bit in denial about his secret love of musicals. The coordinated dance numbers were nearly flawless in their synchronicity and symmetry, while the musical harmonies served as an enjoyable pattern for his ears to follow.

Phichit smiled as he hurriedly bent down to pull Seung-gil’s laptop tray from under his bed. Seung-gil narrowed his eyes in concentration, ignoring Jin leaving her spot and nosing at Phichit's leg. He seemed… excited? No, was he nervous?

He rambled as he set up his laptop and bent down to pat Jin on the head, the attention finally calming her down. “As someone with a lot of international friends, I know how important it is to consume English-speaking media in order to get better at it. Plus there are a lot of cultural and slang vernacular that you can be exposed to, which is useful information to have, and you _love_ useful information!”

“You don’t have to convince me to–”

Laptop set up, Phichit had taken to pacing around Seung-gil’s room and gesturing wildly as he spoke. “So I got to thinking about other musical-y things I’ve watched over the years so I could keep exposing you to my personally relevant cultures, aka Thai and/or American stuff, and there was this show I was _super_ into in high school. It showcases a lot of popular American music from past decades in the first season, but then it devolves into a modern pop-fueled madness – an enjoyable descent, don’t worry – plus we’ll only watch the first three seasons, aka the only good ones–”

“What’s it called?” Seung-gil would’ve felt rude interrupting, but sometimes it was the only way to get Phichit back on topic.

“Oh, right.” He stopped in place to answer, “It’s called ‘Glee’,” and then went right back to pacing.

“Glee?”

“It’s a noun, usually used as a synonym for happiness, but the phrase ‘glee club’ refers to a singing group that typically specializes in show choir music in high schools.”

Seung-gil could feel the impending head ache. “…Show choir?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll watch it and you’ll catch on!” Phichit waved away his very legitimate confusion and finally settled back down onto his bed. “Anyway, this show received a lot of criticism in its time, and people would either love it passionately or hate it with all their might, but I _loved_ it! There’s a lot of stereotyping and tropes, but it grappled with so many issues that I personally – I cried _so_ many times!”

Seung-gil sighed in resignation, nodding his acceptance to this turn of events. Phichit bounced in place a bit then shifted back into his spot against the wall. Seung-gil always chose the spot closest to the head of his bed to protect his pillow from other people’s germs, but Phichit’s past borrowing of Seung-gil’s pillow to lay on the floor had pushed Seung-gil over that particular mental hurdle. Now he offered Phichit the pillow to prop behind his back, and felt warm at watching his nerves dissolve in the face of a grateful smile.

He didn’t really know why Phichit seemed so nervous, but he figured it had something to do with his recent efforts to pull Seung-gil into his world, kicking and screaming.

Phichit slid the laptop tray between their legs, then rapidly clicked through Netflix to pull up the ‘Glee’ show. Jin huffed, annoyed at being ignored, but curled up next to his bed to keep watch.

“I’m going to warn you now,” Phichit started, voice low as he distractedly put on the English subtitles for Seung-gil. “You’ll have to keep an open mind in order to truly appreciate this show. Don’t set your standards too high – also you have to watch _at least_ four episodes, okay?”

“That’s fine,” Seung-gil muttered, clenching his hands together. Why was Phichit so nervous?

The show opened with a cheerleading number (a practice Seung-gil found both impressive and bizarre) that Phichit muttered all the way through.

“I mean, if all the cultural references are too much, I guess we don’t _have_ to watch it. I’ll explain stuff to you as we go, and we can pause it if you’d like.”

“Stop worrying Phichit, you’re making me nervous.”

Phichit went still for a moment, then slumped back against the wall. “Sorry. I just really want you to like this.”

Seung-gil paused the show as the cheer number drew to a close. He kept eye contact as he asked, “Why?”

Phichit bit his lip and shook his head. “It’s just… it has a lot of content in it.”

“Okay?”

“It’s an objectively bad show.”

“…Okay?”

“But I just want to see… if you like it.”

Seung-gil sighed. “Obviously, otherwise you wouldn’t be showing it to me. That doesn’t explain why you’re being so weird.”

“Let’s just watch it, hm?” Phichit’s smiled wavered a bit, but Seung-gil didn’t argue when he unpaused the show.

What followed was one of the most confusing tidal waves of cultural references and drama Seung-gil had ever sat through. Characters were constantly making quips, which Seung-gil was finding hard to constantly follow.

Living in Detroit really opened his eyes to the sheer amount of diversity in the States, and this was further emphasized by this quirky show about misfits in a morally (and somewhat racially) homogenized school. When the goth Asian girl slapped her thighs while singing on stage, she immediately became Seung-gil’s favorite character. This show contained gay dads, a blatantly obsessive high-maintenance female protagonist, a kid in a wheel chair, bullying, an intensely unhappy and manipulative marriage, a teacher framing a student for having drugs to blackmail him into his club, a germophobic guidance counselor – Seung-gil couldn’t imagine any of his friends back in Korea ever watching this kind of program.

It was overly dramatic and almost ridiculous with how many issues the writers had tried to shove into it. Even though Seung-gil still found himself enjoying the dynamic of the teachers and the songs, he had the distinct impression that if he’d grown up in the States, he wouldn’t have watched this show without someone like Phichit to force him through it.

A few times when Phichit had been watching Seung-gil’s face more than the show, he paused the show to explain whatever had just been said. Then they kept that rhythm up: Seung-gil watching until something confusing was said, and Phichit pausing to briefly explain. He seemed perfectly fine pausing the show for Seung-gil to read the defaced club sign-up sheet, and sometimes even predicted when to pause it before Seung-gil even needed to ask. He explained all the references in the conversation-heavy parts and sat back quietly to watch Seung-gil watch the performances.

By the time the episode was ending, Phichit wasn’t even trying to hide his blatant staring. Seung-gil actually recognized the final number the students were performing: “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey. Even though he preferred the original version, he found himself smiling as he watched them perform, simply happy to understand a cultural connection all on his own. It took an hour to watch a forty-minute episode, but they got it done.

When the credits started Phichit paused the episode so Netflix wouldn’t automatically start the next episode. “So you really loved it, right?”

Seung-gil shrugged, embarrassed to actually be looking forward to the next episode. “It was flawed but… enjoyable.”

Phichit’s face lit up like the sun, his grin wide and pleased. Seung-gil clenched his fists, unnerved at the impulse to reach out and do… something.

“It only gets better, I swear! Well, it does get a little worse, but don’t worry you’ll still enjoy it!” Phichit put a hand over his heart and dramatically sighed, “Ahhh, I was so nervous!”

Seung-gil quirked an eyebrow at that. “It was pretty obvious. Care to explain why?”

“I don’t know… I just really wanted you to like it,” Phichit mumbled, cheeks coloring.

Obviously Phichit still wasn’t going to give him a straight answer, so he decided to let it go. “You said four episodes, right?”

“Oh my _god_ , are you looking forward to the next episode?”

Seung-gil’s silence practically spoke for him.

Phichit cackled happily, clapping his hands a bit before clicking to the next episode. “Oh man, did I unlock a dangerous new hobby for you. Watching TV?”

“Shut up,” Seung-gil muttered, crossing his arms. “I like the singing.”

Phichit nodded, distractedly clicking around when Netflix gave him an error message. “Yeah, the drama is good and everything, but the way the performances tie into the plot it really interesting. Unless it’s the Christmas specials – then it’s just lazy.”

“Mhmm, there’s a lot of synchronism.”

“Oh yeah, I hadn’t thought of that,” Phichit explained. “Patterns, right?”

Seung-gil was struck silent.

“What? What’d I say?”

At a loss for words, Seung-gil stared back at Phichit, hoping he’d telepathically understand his surprise and horror.

Phichit’s tilted his head and squinted up at him in confusion. “Why are you so shocked right now?”

“I…” Seung-gil swallowed nervously, wringing his hands together in his lap. Phichit’s eyes followed the movement, but he couldn’t stop. “What did you mean…?”

Phichit furrowed his brow, frowning. “Well the music numbers are kind of the whole point of the show, so it’s worth mentioning.”

“No, I mean–” Seung-gil focused on stilling his hands. “Nevermind, it’s nothing.”

Phichit pursed his lips, studying his face. “You’re being evasive.”

He frowned, avoiding eye contact. “That make two of us I guess.”

It took Phichit a few more moments, but eventually his voice rang out with understanding. “ _Ohhh._ Am I not supposed to know?”

Seung-gil froze completely, still staring down. He heard Jin whining from her spot on the floor, sensing his elevated heart rate.

“I didn’t think it was that obvious,” he forced himself to mutter, uncomfortable with all the silence and one-way staring.

“I mean, I can tell when you get stressed out,” Phichit explained, voice soft. “You get kind of short and angry with people, and you fidget your hands and start to count, right?"

Seung-gil genuinely didn’t know what to say to all that, as Phichit was entirely correct. He was at least thankful that he hadn’t noticed the compulsive muttering yet.

“You – are you upset right now?” He reached out to cover Seung-gil’s hand with one of his own. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – I didn’t know you were trying to hide it?”

Taking a few steadying breaths, he eventually mumbled, “It’s… it’s fine. You’re observant, so I shouldn’t be surprised.”

Phichit’s smile came through in his voice. “Well I don’t know how to say this nicely Seung-gil, but it doesn’t take an observant person to see that you have some kind of condition.”

His head shot up at that, anger and embarrassment and frustration on the tip of his tongue, but Phichit’s easygoing smile made him take pause.

“I mean, you have a service dog.”

It took him a few moments to fully comprehend what he said, and when he did he burst out laughing. Jin barked from by his feet, which just made him laugh harder.

“You’re – you’re right, I guess,” he struggled to get out, covering his smile with one hand. “You’re not wrong, it’s pretty obvious.”

Phichit seemed confused, but willing to go along with the sudden laughter. “Jin wears a little bandana and everything, dummy.”

He was so relieved, felt as if a boulder had been shoved off his shoulders and he was now left staggering under the lack of weight. “I really hadn’t thought about that,” Seung-gil said, still physically holding back his smile.

“She goes with you to classes and everything.”

“Yeah, she does.”

“Just about everyone assumes you have some sort of condition, otherwise why would you have a service dog?”

“Some people just train them,” Seung-gil answered, smiling down at Jin’s panting face. “But no, I need her. Sometimes.”

“I’ve spent a little more time with you than other people,” Phichit muttered, still staring at Seung-gil’ smiling face. “So I think that helped me notice before everyone else.”

“Hmm, maybe.”

“You look–” Phichit bit back whatever he’d been about to say, cheeks coloring a light pink.

“What do I look like? A crazy person?”

He shook his head, covering up his own small smile as he pressed himself back against the wall. “Nothing, nothing.”

Seung-gil sighed, slumping back next to him. They sat in silence for a little while, Seung-gil content to enjoy the company of someone – the first person outside of his family to fully address and understand his issues. It was out there between them, which was a relief for some reason.

Had he known when he’d first tugged Seung-gil across the quad? Or when he saw him at the library, his service animal knocking him over in her excitement? Or had he figured it out when they’d been outside behind the dorm, Seung-gil surrounded by people staring at him and agreeing to hang out with a boy he barely knew?

“Hey,” he said, breaking the comfortable silence by using Phichit’s favored conversation starter. “When did you figure it out?”

“Hmm?” Phichit seemed to come back to himself, eyes dazedly darting around Seung-gil’s face before settling on his eyes. “Oh, I actually didn’t figure it out. Yuuri did.”

Seung-gil was genuinely surprised at that. “Yuuri? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“But I’ve barely talked to him,” Seung-gil muttered, staring off and thinking in overdrive.

“Oh, well he can spot anxiety from miles away. He struggles with it all the time,” Phichit explained. “He gave me a heads-up not to stress you out too much with trying to get – be friendly, be your friend.” He smiled self-deprecatingly, then shrugged. “But that’s never been my style.”

“What?”

“Dialing it down,” he answered, smiling brightly. “I’m an all-in kind of guy.”

Seung-gil studied his expression, grateful that Phichit was the way he was. “Yeah, I can see that.”

He laughed lightly, ducking his head bashfully. “Anyway Yuuri noticed that, and then I noticed some of your habits, so I kind of put two and two together.”

Seung-gil hummed thoughtfully. “Makes sense,” he sighed, staring down at Jin.

Phichit followed his line of sight. “What’s she for, anyway?”

“My mom insisted on bringing her with me when I left South Korea.” He leaned forward, reaching out to scratch her ear. “I didn’t want to bring her because she wasn’t fully trained, I didn’t want to her to just sit indoors all day. But my mom _insisted_ , so I figured I’d try to train her myself. It hasn’t really worked out.”

“At least she’s a pretty mellow dog,” Phichit muttered, watching them.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Sure, when she’s not tackling people in libraries.”

“It’s fine, I think she just likes me,” Phichit grinned. “I was also whistling, so I think that set her off.”

“So embarrassing,” he muttered, momentarily lost in the mortification he’d felt watching his dog tackle a relative stranger. “Anyway, she senses my heart rate. I don’t know why, but dogs are good at that. When I get excessively stressed, I start acting on my… compulsions, and she senses my elevated heart rate and forces me to calm down by focusing on her presence.”

“Oh, that’s… that’s kind of cool,” Phichit seemed lost in thought himself. “So she’s like a physical anchor?”

“Anchor?”

“The heavy weight on a boat that keeps it in place. Or really anything that keeps you in one spot and prevents you from moving.”

Seung-gil nodded in understanding. “Then yeah, she’s like an… anchor.” His accent was emphasized on the new word, but Phichit didn’t seem to mind.

Now Seung-gil was thinking about weights and currents. Life was pulling him in a million different directions, stressing him out and making him a little bit crazy. But Jin’s steady presence was like the eye of a storm, a reassuring presence to ground him in the moment.

But Jin wasn’t the only one doing that for him lately.

“Anyway,” Phichit interrupted his wandering thoughts. “Episode two?”

Seung-gil beamed at him, enjoying the way Phichit blushed. “Sure.”


	5. Day 5: Future, Galaxy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with a new chapter! This one is a bit angsty, but I'm not sorry
> 
> From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who reads and gives kudos and comments on this fic. I'm happy that so many people seem to enjoy my work, and it's incredibly inspiring.
> 
> All mistakes are my own, as I have a chronically tired soul. That said, ENJOY!
> 
>  
> 
> (Rough) Korean translations:  
> Eojjeol su eopda - kind of like "it can't be helped"  
> nuna - older sister  
> Kkotboda Namja - Boys Over Flowers (a popular K-drama a past friend of mine was obsessed with)

“Please! Please please _please_ please, please please PLEEEASE–”

Seung-gil had never stood a chance against Phichit, he really hadn’t.

After introducing Seung-gil to several classic T.V. shows and finishing _none_ of them, he and Phichit had most recently been watching the “Star Trek reboots,” whatever that meant. It started as a show from decades ago set in space, following the adventures of a crew of mostly earthlings as they explored the galaxy. Phichit had showed him a few old episodes, but they mutually agreed that they were too “cringey” to continue watching. Seung-gil hadn’t particularly minded the bad special effects like Phichit had, but the pacing had been… unbearable.

When he’d told Phichit that he enjoyed the concept, he’d been forced to abandon his homework to watch a new installment in the franchise from 2009. All the while he refused to show how much he was enjoying it, as Phichit had been staring at him and laughing to himself, muttering things like, “You’re going to love this,” all throughout the movie. It was annoying.

“That movie was good.”

“AHAHAHA I knew you’d love it! Is it your favorite movie now? Holy shit, I think it _is_.”

It was irritating. Well, he wished it was.

As the semester had continued they’d only grown closer. Michele accused their friendship of being one-sided, but Seung-gil gave just as much as he got. He genuinely enjoyed Phichit’s company, looked to him for advice, even asked him to hang out on three separate occasions. Making such a good friend in America had been a delightful surprise, and he’d be sad to leave him behind.

That thought had him taking pause, halting his progress inputting vectors into a computer program to stare at his fingers with wide eyes.

He would have to leave at the end of this year. He’d load Jin onto a plane at the end of May and fly back to South Korea. He’d be leaving behind a campus he’d finally grown familiar with, a group of rather unruly but loveable friends, and… Phichit.

The thought made his stomach hurt.

This realization (or rather, obvious eventuality) was why Phichit needed to become irritating to him. He was still just as insightful and kind as always, but now there was the added bonus of Seung-gil’s stomach aching at the thought that this was all temporary. He was quite thoughtful these days, actually. If someone tried greeting Seung-gil with a high-five, Phichit would swoop in and slap their hand in his place. If Jin started whining, Phichit would ask Seung-gil what was wrong. Even if Seung-gil didn’t say anything, he could tell when he didn’t like his lunch.

Before, Seung-gil would have offered a small smile of thanks or nod of acknowledgement. Now he just… hurt.

Pre-obvious-revelation Seung-gil had been receptive to the idea of a Halloween party – after having the holiday and custom explained to him by several different people and Wikihow comics. He’d easily agreed to join Phichit and his friends in attending the event, but now he was hesitant to go, mostly because of the costumes. If he dressed up, there would be pictures. If there were pictures, he’d have to stare at them afterwards and know that all he’d have at the end of his experience abroad. And that would only hurt more.

“Please please PLEASE _please_ – pleasepleasepleaseplease–”

He’d never really had a chance.

“FINE, I’ll go, but if you even think about–”

“YAAAAY!”

This was how Seung-gil found himself sitting cross-legged on Phichit’s dorm floor the afternoon of October 31st, having gotten a coworker to cover his shift at the library under the guise of having excessive amounts of schoolwork – which wasn’t entirely untrue.

“The kid I sit next to draws pictures all of class, so I can’t ask him for help. It’s already difficult to stay on top of my work, but now I have to go to–”

“Would you stop talking? I’m trying to get your makeup to look realistic, not abstract.”

Seung-gil snapped his mouth shut, now unable to distract himself by talking. Phichit was leaning forward in front of him, face close and hands brushing his jaw, tilting up his chin into the dorm’s offensively bright overhead lighting. He looked relaxed, comfortable with holding a makeup brush and apparently comfortable sitting scant inches away from Seung-gil’s face.

He wanted to close his eyes and block out Phichit’s stupid face, but the last time he’d tried Phichit had slapped the back of his head. He was stuck with his eyes open, which meant staring at Phichit’s face and surprising himself with what he was finding.

“Do you have freckles?”

“Shut _up_! Ugh, this is what I get for doing your makeup first.”

He had freckles, and surprisingly big lips, and a lot of eyelashes. He had two eyes, a nose, and a mouth, which all suddenly seemed fascinating when they were six inches away from your own.

“Is it too warm in here?” Phichit ran his thumb over Seung-gil’s cheek lightly. He must be blushing. “Sorry, I turn down the A/C when Yuuri isn’t–”

“Hellooo!”

Phichit pulled his hands away and smiled. “Hi you guys.”

Victor and Yuuri were a strange couple. Victor would be aloof one moment and fawning over Yuuri in the next, while Yuuri consistently seemed as if he was mildly humoring him. Every so often their roles would switch, Yuuri doing the complimenting and Victor turning bashful, and every time Seung-gil felt his chest warm. They were a very specific type of cute.

Seung-gil waved in greeting, as was polite.

“I’ve forbid him from speaking,” Phichit said, laughing. “I need the green to dry and set a bit more before I use the finishing powder.”

“Woah.” Yuuri bent down next to Phichit, leaning over his shoulder. “He looks amazing, you did a great job.”

“Thanks!” Phichit beamed at the praise even as it made Seung-gil’s face hotter. “Are you guys getting ready soon?”

Victor piped up, “Yes, but can you do our makeup first?”

“Yeah, definitely before everyone else shows up,” he agreed, turning and smiling at Seung-gil’s confusion. “Last year I did such a great job with mine and Yuuri’s makeup that a bunch of people asked me to do theirs. I spent almost my whole night in a frat house bathroom applying multicolored blush and glitter.”

“This year he agreed to only do our floor’s,” Yuuri continued, sitting on Phichit’s lower bunk next to a pouting Victor. “But he did so on the condition that he only works _before_ the party.”

“People have been texting me all damn week about it,” Phichit complained despite his smile. “But a promise is a promise, so everyone will just have to look amazing, I guess. By the way, you can talk now.”

“It’s nice of you to do everyone’s makeup,” he said, voice low so as not to intrude on Victor and Yuuri’s conversation about certain other people who look amazing all the time. “Do you own enough products for everyone?”

“Ew, no way am I letting other people use my stuff.” Phichit wrinkled his nose in distaste. “No, they’re bringing their own products and brushes and stuff. I’m only supplying the skill.”

Seung-gil frowned. “But I’m using your makeup.”

“Well… that’s different.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah. Well - and I - I mean, I washed the brushes beforehand because face germs are generally bad,” he said, meeting Seung-gil’s eyes in a very pointed way. “But I can’t wash them for every single person on our floor, right?”

“Oh. Thank you,” Seung-gil muttered. How had he not thought to ask whether or not the brushes were clean?

“Of course! Now, let me just…”

Phichit carefully dipped his thumb in the small well of green pigment, then brought it up to Seung-gil’s lips.

“Keep your mouth open, and don’t you _dare_ say a word.”

Seung-gil folded his hands together and _squeezed_ when Phichit tapped his finger along his bottom lip. He slid it around slightly, then moved to his upper lip, eyes focused on his work and hopefully not noticing Seung-gil’s shaking hands.

What was happening right now? Phichit was just applying something on his lips, no big deal. For some reason this was far more embarrassing than when Phichit had been gelling his hair, running his fingers through–

“There, all done!” Phichit smiled down at him, and Seung-gil hadn’t even noticed him leaning up on his knees and angling Seung-gil’s face upwards. “I might do some fun eyeshadow later if I have the time, but for now I think you look very handsome!”

He squeezed his hands again. “Can I see it?”

Phichit nodded, grabbing a nearby hand mirror. “If you don’t like something, just let me know.”

At seeing his reflection, Seung-gil was stunned silent. He brought up his fingers to touch his cheek, but Phichit grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t touch your face quite yet,” he warned.

He looked like an honest to god Vulcan: angular cheekbones, somewhat pale green complexion, frighteningly perfect “bowl-cut”, and upswept eyebrows.

“Is it okay?”

Phichit’s talent was slightly terrifying.

He eventually found a few words to respond. “My eyebrows…?” Not coherently, it would seem.

“I just covered the ends and bottoms with fake skin from the theater department,” Phichit explained, eyes intensely scanning Seung-gil’s face. “Then I blended over it with cheap foundation and concealer to match your skin tone.”

“Oh…”

“Do you like it? I can’t tell.”

Seung-gil swallowed past his suddenly dry throat. “This looks amazing.”

He beamed down at Seung-gil, hand tightening around the wrist he was still holding. “Really?”

“I look… very cool. And xeno-biologically accurate.” Huh, watching Star Trek really _had_ improved his English.

“Aw, I’m so happy you like it,” Phichit giggled a bit nervously. “I wasn’t sure if – ah, I’m happy! You look super good.”

Seung-gil smiled at him. “I like it. A lot.”

Now it was Phichit’s turn to blush. He lightly yanked on Seung-gil’s arm. “Oh, _stop_ it.”

“Are you going to do your makeup now? Can I watch?”

“Ugh, it’s embarrassing though!”

“Hey Phichit,” Victor called out, breaking a moment Seung-gil hadn’t noticed until it was gone. “Your phone is going off like crazy.”

“Oh shit, that’s probably Leo,” he muttered, smiling wryly at Seung-gil. With one last glance to check his lip makeup, Phichit finally let go of his wrist to turn to grab his phone from Victor. Yuuri had apparently gone to the bathroom at some point and it was just the three of them now, and the two of them were too busy chatting to see Seung-gil unthinkingly rub his cold wrist.

“Hey there.” Seung-gil jumped, flinching away from where Yuuri was settling down next to him. “Your lips look great! You’re gonna get so many compliments on your costume.”

Seung-gil nodded nervously, very aware of Victor looking in their direction. To call Victor overprotective would be an understatement. Yuuri just called him childish, but seemed to enjoy the attention all the same.

“Hold still, idiot,” Phichit chastised, slapping Victor’s leg. He was sitting a good foot away on the bed, far further from Victor than he had been from Seung-gil.

“Victor is all excited to be going as an ice prince,” Yuuri laughed quietly, speaking softly so that only Seung-gil could hear him. “But I never told him my costume.”

Seung-gil raised his eyebrow, which made Yuuri laugh for some reason. “What’s your costume?”

He blushed, staring down at his hands. “Don’t tell him, alright?”

“I won’t.”

Yuuri leaned in close to whisper in his ear. “I’m going as a sun prince so that we can match.”

“That’s cute.” The thought made Seung-gil smile. “He’ll like that.”

Yuuri smiled back, blushing. “I think so too.”

“ _Yuuuuri_ , I miss you! And Phichit’s being mean!”

“You’re the one who won’t shut up for _two seconds_! ‘Oh, what do you think they’re saying?’ ‘Why is my Yuuri looking at his lips?’ ‘Oh, why do you think they’re laughing without us?’ It’s _annoying_ Victor!”

Phichit had been far more patient with Seung-gil. Seeing what he could’ve dealt with instead, Seung-gil was relieved to have only been lightheartedly teased.

Yuuri laughed at Victor’s put-out pout. “I miss you too, Victor,” he called out, smiling indulgently as he played along. “We’re entire worlds apart.”

Victor wiped away a fake tear. “How will I go on?”

“I _swear to god_ if you don’t stop moving I’m going to shove this brush so far up your nose your brain will have smudged, asymmetrical cat-eyes that you’ll _never_ be able to wash off.”

After Victor was done, Yuuri wished him luck going early to help set up the party. Victor kissed him at the door, which nearly made Phichit weep with worry over his freshly finished work.

“I’ll see you at the party later,” Victor said, pushing some hair behind Yuuri’s ear. “Do you have everything you need out of my room? Don’t need my key?”

Yuuri nodded, grabbing the front of Victor’s shirt just to hold it. “I’d kiss you back, but I think it’ll give Phichit an aneurysm.”

“Please don’t kiss him,” Phichit whined, flopping back down next to Seung-gil’s side. “He’s going to ask me to redo the ombre lips and I just don’t have it in me for a second time, I really don’t.”

Yuuri giggled, pressing a quick kiss to the bottom of Victor’s chin. “See you later.”

Victor beamed, waving as he shut the door.

“You two are so groooooss,” Phichit teased, grinning up at the spacey look on Yuuri’s face.

“Oh, stuff it.” Yuuri reigned in his smile and pulled at Phichit’s hair playfully as he walked back into the room. “Mine now?”

“Sure thing.”

“Seung-gil,” Yuuri called out, sitting on the bed while Phichit pulled up a chair in front of him, balancing palettes and bottles on his legs. “Are you staying too?”

“Oh, um,” Seung-gil had been scrolling through Phichit’s Instagram, trying to tell the difference between his makeup skills and filters. “I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Stay! You can answer the door for me!” Phichit looked at him with wide eyes, sticking out his bottom lip. “Don’t make me move all my supplies every time someone shows up. Please stay?”

Seung-gil nodded, staring back down at his phone.

“Yaaay,” Phichit sighed with a small smile. A moment later he was back to business, wielding a foundation brush and a determined look. He muttered to himself about the other people coming and which colors he’d need for which costumes. All the while Yuuri made the occasional sound of assent just to be a supportive friend. And Seung-gil thought about staying, but not just for tonight, not just for the year.

He froze, familiar lightheadedness coming on and stomach clenching. What was wrong with him these days? He’d been here for barely three months, and already he was mourning his inevitable departure. He was anxious enough at the thought, at his own momentary honesty, that he was starting to – he was having a–

“I’ll actually be right back,” Seung-gil said, voice hoarse even to his own ears. He felt around by his feet for his shoes, ignoring Yuuri and Phichit’s confused looks in favor of keeping his breaths regular. “I forgot about… a thing.”

“Oh, okay,” Phichit watched as he gathered his things. “Will you walk over with us to the party, or will we see you there?”

“I don’t know,” Seung-gil muttered once he was standing and ready to go. He was rubbing his hands together even though he knew Phichit was watching the motion knowingly.

“Alright then,” he said, voice confused. He probably looked confused too, but Seung-gil wasn’t looking. He saw Yuuri wave out of the corner of his eye as he closed the door.

Seung-gil took a deep breath once he was out in the hallway. Thankfully, he’d left just fast enough that neither Phichit nor Yuuri had been able to recognize any of his symptoms.

Really, what was he thinking?! He couldn’t stay in the States for the rest of his university years – he _had_ to leave! His mother missed him, and his sister was getting married soon. He’d need to step up and support their parents now that she’d be busy with her in-laws. He couldn’t just goof off here, spending his time balancing schoolwork and friends.

Besides, after graduating he’d _definitely_ have to return. No matter what, this living situation was temporary.

Jin greeted him at the door, wagging her tail excitedly. Once the door shut he slid down against it, letting Jin curl up over his lap and lick his trembling hand. He started combing through her fur with his fingers, watching each and every one shift with the rhythmic motion.

He’d somehow missed how quickly he’d grown accustomed to this foreign country. The people here were loud and the food was weirdly salty, but he couldn’t deny the feeling of having… settled in. It felt as if one moment he was just another exchange student, and the next he was just another student. Now that he had this knowledge, the thought of throwing it all away was… The thought of Phichit patting his arm and telling him goodbye for the last time…

Seung-gil didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there for, lead stomach anchoring him in place. One second he’d been settling in against the door despite his stiff posture, then he blinked and someone was pounding at his door.

Michele looked concerned. “Damn, I hate when Phichit is right,” he muttered. “You weren’t answering your phone, so here I am. We’re all heading over now, so get your ass in gear and let’s _go_.”

Seung-gil nodded in acknowledgement, staring at Michele’s shoes. “I don’t feel good.”

“Are you sick?”

Yes. Sick in the head. “I don’t think so, but…”

“Then don’t worry about it,” he scoffed, grabbing Seung-gil’s arm and tugging on him. “Just go to the party and forget about whatever’s bothering you. I’ll cover you for a drink and everything.”

He should just go to the party, revelations be damned. He needed to ignore this problem for now and process it at another time, maybe drinking a bit in between. He could go out and have a fun night with his friends, allowing a few group pictures – he _should_ , seeing as he’d leave them all behind one day.

Jin whined sadly, nosing at his pant leg.

“Actually, I’ll meet you guys there,” Seung-gil muttered, trying and failing to ignore the pressure solidifying his gut. “I need to do something first.”

Michele looked skeptical, but he was ultimately a simplistic person, rarely looking beneath the surface of a situation. “Whatever, text when you’re heading over,” he said shrugging. He pat Jin on the head once, then turned and walked off.

Seung-gil closed his door with a soft click, glaring down at Jin. “I hate when you’re right,” he muttered in Korean, scratching behind one of her fluffy ears.

He shred his costume as he moved into the room, counting up and folding away each piece of the ensemble. He pulled on the first thing he grabbed out of his dresser without a second glance, stomach heavy with the knowledge of how his night would definitely go. Jin was curled up in her bed, but watched his every move.

Going out wouldn’t help him. All that would happen is that Phichit would make an offhand, kind comment, or someone would innocently shake his hand, inadvertently shoving a tipsy Seung-gil face-first into a panic attack in a house full of oddly dressed strangers who are all more well-adjusted than him.

His friends might notice, but they’d shrug it off and continue on with their nights. No, “Going to the party is a bad idea.”

Sighing as he entered his bathroom, Seung-gil stared at his reflection. He smiled wryly, enjoying looking like a real-life Vulcan wearing some old gray T-shirt and sweatpants. Spock would be stoically indignant.

“Phichit did a really great job.” Running his fingers over his eyebrows, Seung-gil felt a twinge of guilt for making him do so much work only for it to go unseen. “ _Eojjeol su eopda_.” But he could keep the makeup on for a bit longer, surely?

Sitting down at his desk, Seung-gil started up his laptop. He could watch Glee, “Although I really, _really_ don’t want to” – maybe rewatch a Star Trek movie, “Perhaps without the subtitles this time. I can see how far I make it before giving up…” He had been ignoring Korean media in the spirit of immersing himself in an English-speaking environment, but, “One episode of _nuna’s_ drama can’t hurt.”

Three episodes of _Kkotboda namja_ later Seung-gil was lying on his bed, Jin dozing draped over his legs. After two texts he’d silenced his phone and then picked up his fidget cube, now sitting forgotten between his twitching fingers for two episodes now. He was muttering along to Geum Jan-di’s lines in an episode his _n_ _una_ had made him watch countless times. It was comforting.

“This time I realized that you and I are from different worlds. We met as though in a dream, but now it’s time for us to return to our own worlds.”

His eyes burned, hands shook, but he didn’t pause the episode.


	6. Day 6: Skype and tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another update! My semester is ending, so wish me luck passing all my exams and finishing all my essays :)

The library was quiet, students falling silent the moment they walked in the building, or else the moment they noticed Seung-gil’s judgmental glare. Being a front desk attendant was easy, relatively painless work. He got to stow Jin away behind his desk and he could do homework, as people rarely ever needed help finding a book. Most students just needed a quiet place to study, which Seung-gil happily facilitated in his own best interest.

It had been a week since the Halloween incident. Seung-gil had shamefully spiraled that night, stressed about events nearly seven months away and lacking the will to steer his thoughts in a more healthy direction. He’d been ignoring all of his friend’s texts and calls, using headphones in his room so no one heard his music playing, and wearing ear plugs at night to sleep through the occasional concerned knock. Slipping out to walk Jin was difficult, but manageable if he slipped out during Michele’s chemistry lab in the afternoon or late at night when he couldn't sleep. He'd always sprint down the side stairs on the opposite side of the dorm, reducing the chances of running into someone who'd recognize him. He supposed this was the downside of living in the same building as all the people you socialize with.

Seung-gil hadn’t been to any of his classes either, but his professors were made aware of his situation upon his enrollment. He’d only received back positive, supportive responses to his email notice, and he was momentarily surprised and grateful to his American professors. In South Korea he probably would’ve fallen insurmountably behind, and his professors definitely wouldn’t have been as enthusiastically accommodating.

A few loud students pushed open the heavy library door, falling silent in seconds but laughing at a shared joke. Seung-gil watched them turn into the coffee shop, chatting in conscientiously low voices he could barely hear.

Who was the last person Seung-gil had spoken to that wasn’t himself or Jin? It must’ve been Michele, who’d been dismissive of Seung-gil’s nerves because he’d wrongly trusted his friend to not be crazy.

Seung-gil sighed, recognizing the toxic thought instantly.

If he was ever going to get back to normal, he needed to talk to someone. Someone who’d understand, who he was comfortable with and who knew enough about what he was experiencing to not ask too many invasive questions.

He placed a sign that he was on break on the desk, untied Jin’s leash from his chair, and went out the front door. It was cool outside, the sun lowering in the sky and the chilly autumn air reminding him of home. He turned away from the view of central campus and slipped back behind the library, coming upon the bench where other student employees took smoking breaks. Jin cheerfully peed on a nearby tree.

There was a nine-hour difference between Michigan and South Korea. Even so, his sister answered within three rings.

“ _Holy crap, Seung-gil?_ _Hello_?” Even though her tinny voice sounded tired, she looked happy to see him. The feeling was mutual. “ _Is my little brother actually Skyping me?_ ”

The connection wasn’t perfect, lag making her face move half a second after her words, but Seung-gil didn’t mind.

“Hello nuna,” he answered, ignoring her mock-surprise. It was surprisingly easy to slip back into Korean, even though he noticed all the different parts of his mouth that he was suddenly using.

“ _Holy CRAP! Are you dying? Is everything okay?_ ”

“No – Yeah, I just…” He swallowed back his knee-jerk response to confess everything, hyperaware of their atypical lack of communication that had started the minute he’d stepped on an airplane for the States. “I wanted to say hi.”

“ _…I mean, you could’ve just texted.”_

Since it was a little after four in the morning in South Korea, his sister looked tired, hair messy from sleep. Despite the interruption at such a late hour, she was smiling.

“Sorry to wake you.”

“ _Oh, don’t worry about it! The time difference is so – oh crap, I should talk to you in the kitchen. But wait, first look, look at my Oppa!”_

She turned her phone towards her fiancé, who was glaring at her. He was in bed next to her, which made Seung-gil blush. His sister was shameless.

“ _Isn’t he cute?_ ”

“Sorry for waking you both,” Seung-gil apologized, fiddling with Jin’s leash.

Her fiancé grumbled something, but made a waving motion as if he was telling Seung-gil not to worry about it. He then turned his back on the both of them, burying his head under a nearby pillow.

“ _What a good guy_ ,” his sister snickered, camera jolting around as her mattress creaked and her bedroom door clicked softly shut.

“He seems nice,” he muttered. Anyone who put up with their girlfriend talking on the phone at 4 in the morning deserved an award for their patience.

“ _He really is,_ ” she giggled, settling on what looked like her couch and attempting to tame her unruly curls. “ _So what’s this about? Did you just call to chat, or…?_ ” She trailed off, but Seung-gil still understood her meaning.

Even unspoken, Seung-gil felt something tight relax and uncoil in his chest. Nuna had always been there for him growing up, the protective older sibling he’d desperately needed. When their parents had been initially skeptical of and cruel toward his condition, she’d been the only one who’d tried to help. Eventually his parents understood the situation and tried to better accommodate him, but the careful way they handled him had always put him further on edge.

When he found himself staring helplessly at an uneven painting high up on a wall or counting and recounting his pencils for school, it was nuna who’d treat him like a normal person, gently guiding him back from his own head and then smacking his arm for accidentally eating her cookies. Whether he was making normal friends at school or locking himself in his room after a bad doctor’s visit, she was there to annoy him into venting his feelings.

Yet somehow, they had texted only three times since he’d come to America. Seung-gil was determined to fix this, as the person he’d been leaning on here was… currently out of the question.

“A little bit of both, actually,” he answered, smiling self-deprecatingly. “How’s the wedding planning going?”

“ _Seung-gil, you would not believe how few purple flowers exist and how ugly every single one of them are._ ”

He laughed and listened along to nuna’s tale of woe, visiting three different florists and being disappointed at every turn.

“ _I want_ roses _, damn it! Is that so hard? Purple roses?”_

“Maybe you should get fake flowers?”

“ _Ugh no way, that’s so tacky and cheap_. _You know what, even just thinking about it is pissing me off._ ” He held back his sigh at his sister’s inability to compromise what she wanted with what was attainable. _“What’s new with you, Mister World-Traveler? How’re classes?_ ”

Seung-gil explained which classes he was taking, why they were so much more difficult than those in South Korea, and how kindly the professors of his smaller classes treated him. He briefly mentioned emailing them about missing class, but nuna didn’t comment.

“ _So what about the other students? Have you made any friends yet?_ ”

He explained what it was like living in the international dorm, with students who all had foreign citizenship but many of whom had been in the States since childhood. His conversational English was improving quickly, and talking with the other students was quite enjoyable. He tried to describe how Michele’s standoffishness was one of his better qualities, then told her about Sara’s nosiness and general sunny nature. Then he described Yuuri and Victor, the most annoyingly cute couple in the entire dorm. His sister had raised her eyebrow at the two male names, but only commented to ask for the ways in which they were so sickeningly cute.

He eventually got around to Phichit, the Thai student that had pestered him non-stop, wearing him down only to eventually become his closest friend here. Seung-gil found himself smiling as he tried to describe how Phichit was bubbly without being suffocating, insightful without being invasive. He talked about how he and Leo were sharing music with him nearly every day, how he and Phichit hung out nearly every day despite having no classes together and living on different floors. He talked about how Jin loved him inexplicably, how he had bad taste in T.V. shows but refused to change his ways, how he was obsessed with how many followers he had on Instagram, how he’d once managed to burn ramen in the communal kitchen, how–

“ _Wow, this Phichit must really be something for you to talk about him so much._ ”

Seung-gil paused mid-speech, staring at his sister’s knowing smile in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“ _Well you’ve only talked about him for the last – oh, ten minutes now? That’s_ gushing _for you.”_

“…He’s very outgoing. Maybe his chattiness has rubbed off on me.”

“ _Sure, maybe_.” Her smile didn’t go away.

“Nuna, it’s not like that…”

“ _What, I’m not saying anything! It’s just – well, I know your_ type _._ ”

He groaned, hating himself for having confessed to thinking Hyun-joong Kim was cute back in high school. Nuna had teased him relentlessly, only to slowly realize just why Seung-gil felt… the way he felt. Once again, she’d been nothing but supportive.

“Shut up, that was one time and I barely even–”

 _“What was it you’d said?_ ‘ _Nuna, nuna, is this the episode about Hyun-joong Kim’s backstory? Why didn’t you tell me it was on!’ Ahaha, you’d been so cute!”_

“ _Stop_ ,” he groaned, rubbing at his warm cheek. “It’s really not like that.”

“ _Sure, okay_.”

“It’s not.”

“ _You don’t have to lie to me, you know_.”

“It’s _not_.”

“ _Well why not then? You obviously like him, just go for it. What’s the worst that could happen?_ ”

He very obviously did not like Phichit in that way. Even if he did have romantic feelings for him… Phichit would look at him in disgust, reanalyzing all of their interactions and feeling sick at how Seung-gil had taken advantage of his kindness. Phichit would try to let him down gently despite his true feelings, but still put his foot in his mouth and say something callous. Phichit would say that they were just too different, that Seung-gil was a lot of work and not really worth it, that sure Jin was great but she still didn’t make up for Seung-gil’s issues.

He’d say that Seung-gil was leaving at the end of the year, and who the hell did he think he was, trying to start something that wouldn’t, couldn’t go anywhere?

“I _don’t_ like him.”

“ _Alright, whatever. I guess I’m glad you made such a good_ friend _.”_

“Don’t say ‘friend’ like that,” he muttered, about to change the subject when he heard the distant sound of the university clocktower going off. Shit, it was already eight? He’d been out here for almost an entire hour.

“Sorry nuna, I need to go back to work.”

“ _Ooo, you have a job?_ ”

“Yeah, at the university library,” he sighed. “I lost track of time.”

“ _Duh, because you were telling your favorite sister all about you_ best friend _Phichit, who’s adorable and sweet and fun and–”_

“Bye nuna,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. Looking back at her kind face, he couldn’t help smiling back. “Thank you for answering.”

“ _Of course, I missed you dong-saeng! Talk to you soon?_ ”

“…Yeah.”

“ _Awesome! Byeee~!”_ With wide grin and a wave, nuna signed off.

Seung-gil sighed and let his head fall back against the side of the building as he dropped his phone into his lap. Even though it was getting late, there were still plenty of students walking around campus, mostly loners who’d already separated from their groups and who were venturing home alone.

He only had an hour left of his shift. Then he’d be able to lock himself back in his room until tomorrow.

After talking with his nuna, Seung-gil felt less apprehensive about his relationships. He’d genuinely enjoyed talking about the friends he’d made – and yes, they were _friends_ , all of them. They liked Seung-gil, and he liked them enough to not hate their company.

This whole experience was still quite temporary, but he needed to stop thinking about that. It wasn’t helping him keep these friends he’d made, so he’d need to just ignore his feelings on the matter.

Falling back into his seat behind the library circulation desk, Seung-gil turned his phone off of Do Not Disturb and scrolled through the notifications that immediately assaulted his screen. Michele had texted five times and called three. Sara had called him four times, and tagged him in several adorable dog videos on Facebook. Yuuri had texted him twice, once on the night of the Halloween party asking where he was and that they were missing him, and the next day saying that he was free to talk if Seung-gil ever needed it.

And then there was Phichit. 48 missed texts, 16 missed calls, 14 Instagram comments, 26 tweets and 106 snaps. Seung-gil spared a moment to regret letting Phichit talk him into expanding his social media presence, but the feeling was immediately overpowered by one of deep affection, so strong it momentarily stunned him.

Looking down at Jin, whose head tilted at the sudden attention, Seung-gil sighed. He didn’t want to do this. It would be this whole big thing, and he’d have to explain himself and his insecurities. He _really_ didn’t want to comb through them with another person when he barely understood them himself. But he needed to get over this rough patch, and charging forward was probably the only way to do so.

As he stepped out of the library an hour later, Seung-gil dialed what had been a familiar number just one week ago. It rang once, twice, four, five times. Just as Seung-gil started to think it’d go to voicemail, he picked up.

“… _Hello?”_

Inhaling deeply and squeezing Jin’s leash, he muttered, “Hi?” Somehow it’d become a question, making Seung-gil nearly kick himself.

Talking with his sister had been easy. She’d always been understanding of him, knew how to coax him into speaking his mind by pushing too far. It had not always been pleasant, but her methods had always worked.

“… _Hi_.”

Phichit wasn’t always easy. He’d barely known Seung-gil three months, but oftentimes understood Seung-gil without him needing to say anything. The only thing consistent about him was his inconsistencies; he was all over the place, choosing the most random moments to become observant and serious. Despite all the differences between Phichit and his sister, Seung-gil found himself wanting to lean on him just as much, if not more so.

Nuna hadn’t been wrong, Phichit was… special, for some reason. He was Seung-gil’s closest friend, stateside or otherwise, and he could admit that. His smile was comforting, eyes perceptive but kind. He wasn’t judgmental, and despite his talkative nature he was still a good listener.

“…Hello.”

Despite knowing all of this objectively, Seung-gil was struggling to even communicate a basic apology, comment on the cool weather, _anything_ to move this process of forgiving and forgetting forward.

Phichit sighed, a shuffling noise in the background. “ _So… it’s been a while. How’ve you been_?”

“Umm…”

“ _Well…_ ” Another sigh. “ _Are you okay_?”

He watched his feet move, one in front of the other, and didn’t feel the need to count their steps. “Yeah.”

A moment passed, another, and Seung-gil didn’t know what to do. Phichit seemed to be waiting for an explanation, but he desperately didn’t want to provide one right now.

“ _So how’ve classes been? Have you been busy with coursework_?”

Seung-gil watched Jin sniff a nearby bush and he stopped to indulge her. “I wouldn’t know.”

“ _You wouldn’t know_?”

“…I haven’t been to class this week.”

There was more silence, then, “ _Are you sure you’re okay_?”

Now it was his turn to sigh. “Yes, I’m sure.”

“ _Alright_ …” The line went silent for so long that Seung-gil momentarily thought the call had failed. Just as he was turning his phone to glance at the screen, Phichit’s voice practically chirped over the line, “ _So yesterday Yuuri started this new book series, and I think I’m actually going to start reading physical, honest-to-god books now. The goddess of television will weep, but I think even she would approve of this choice.”_

Seung-gil was speechless. Woefully, utterly speechless.

“ _And let’s be honest, it would do my eyesight a lot of good to stare at my laptop screen a little less, don’t you think? My eyesight isn’t bad, but it’s also definitely, definitely not good. Did you know I wear contacts? I forget if I told you that. They’re normal, not colored ones or anything, and ugh do you want to hear about the first time I stuck one in my eye? It took nearly two hours and I missed all my classes for the day because my eyes wouldn’t stop watering, which meant no makeup, which meant no one was allowed to see me. I even locked Yuuri out of our room – which, always a bad idea. He was… so terrifying. This was sometime last year, I think in–_ ”

“Phichit,” Seung-gil muttered, breaking into the story despite how quietly he’d spoken.

“ _Hm_?”

“Are _you_ okay?”

Phichit fell silent once again, and he quietly muttered back, “ _Not really. I – I had a bad day… Bad week, actually_.”

He hadn’t asked any real questions, hadn’t pried into Seung-gil’s mental health at all or the reasons behind his sudden lack of contact. Even so, Phichit had somehow managed to make Seung-gil want to tell him everything he hadn’t told nuna.

“I did too,” he replied, a sudden urgency making him tug Jin away from a lamp post to start their short journey back to the dorm.

Phichit sighed. “ _That sucks, I’m sorry_.”

That was something Seung-gil still hadn’t gotten used to: how often Americans apologized for events they had no part in. When he’d asked Phichit about this, he’d shrugged and explained that English didn’t have a better way of succinctly conveying regret and empathy simultaneously.

“I’m sorry too.” Seung-gil found himself meaning both the implicit and explicit definitions of the standard apology.

“ _Are you free now? Wanna come over and watch T.V. or YouTube or something? I found this gamer channel that’s absolutely_ wild,” Phichit chuckled to himself, making Seung-gil walk with greater purpose. “ _There’s confetti and strobe lights – which some people criticize for taking away from the games themselves, but I call bullshit because how can confetti and strobe lights not add inherent value to everything?_ ”

Turning a corner and settling his gaze on the international dorm, Seung-gil started jogging. Jin just went with it, trotting along beside him and panting happily. “Sounds good,” he answered, smiling now. It was small and only meant for himself, but he did it anyway.

“ _Good, because I’m going to be honest with you, Yuuri and Victor have been kind of insufferable this week, and it would be great to hang out with a normal person for at least five seconds_.”

His smiled widened at the word normal ever applying to him. “Insufferable?”

“ _It means I can’t stand them, want to smack them upside their heads, want to lock them both out of this godforsaken room_.”

“Oh… Why?”

“ _Their anniversary is coming up_.”

“So?”

“ _So they’re disgusting_!”

Seung-gil laughed at that, which seemed to fuel Phichit on even more.

“ _Don’t laugh at my pain_!” He said, laughing himself. “ _Do you know what it’s like to watch them flirt over produce at the fucking supermarket_? Do you?”

Coming upon the dorm side entrance, Seung-gil swiped his chip and took the stairs two at a time, only half-listening to Phichit complain. Being Victor and Yuuri’s number one fan all the time had obviously taken its toll this week.

“No, I can only imagine.”

“ _And what kind of image assaults your brain when you try to think about it_?”

“…It’s not a good one.”

He waved at Leo, who was just leaving from Phichit’s floor. He smiled at him and held the door, patting him on the shoulder as he and Jin slipped through.

“ _Exactly! God, if I have to sit through one more handsy breakfast I’m going to rip my hair out_.”

Come upon his door, Seung-gil stopped to catch his breath. He’d been replying with short answers, but Phichit hadn’t seemed to mind. “Don’t do that.”

“ _Well it’s going to happen, because I_ swear _if they think…”_

Although it was rude, Seung-gil stopped listening. He was too busy focusing on how he could hear Phichit through both his phone’s speaker and his door, and how the sound made his chest feel too big for his body. He took one last fortifying glance at Jin, who sat next to him panting happily at their unplanned workout and sprint up the stairs.

He slipped his phone in his back pocket without hanging up, giving all of his attention to Phichit’s in-person voice. Whatever he was saying made himself laugh, which made Seung-gil’s stomach flutter in a now familiar way.

This was all so normal. The door was just as solid as he remembered under his knuckles, Jin’s ears perked up just like always whenever she heard Phichit’s voice coming towards the door. Even though these things had happened before, this time Seung-gil felt antsy, hands tugging on his jacket sleeves, running through his probably messy hair.

It felt as if minutes had passed before Phichit answered his knock. He was still holding the phone up to his ear as he trailed off midsentence, eyes going wide. “Oh…” He slowly pocketed his phone, no doubt noticing how Seung-gil was still slightly winded and Jin was panting.

“That was faster than – did you _run_ –?” he started, cut off by Seung-gil’s arms wrapping around him.

He would have been stunned at his own forwardness, but any shame he felt in his knee-jerk reaction was overpowered by Phichit’s warmth, his soft T-shirt, how solid he felt in his arms. Phichit made a small noise of some kind, a small inhale, and Seung-gil found his hands fisting in the material covering his back.

This was nice, the very definition of comfort – no contentedness? His nuna’s teasing voice replayed in the back of his mind, but Seung-gil barely heard her. Phichit was such a good friend, such a wonderful, understanding person. He’d _missed_ him.

Even though they’d never held one another, Seung-gil somehow felt that this was the feeling he missed the most. In fact, Seung-gil couldn’t remember a single time he’d initiated a hug–

“Sorry,” he rushed out, fighting down his blush and pushing Phichit back by his shoulders to hold him at arm’s length. “I wasn’t thinking, I just–”

Phichit’s pink face did… something. It went from shocked to sad, then something like frustration and relief. He shoved Seung-gil’s arms away and wrapped his own around his neck, burying his face in Seung-gil’s shoulder and sighing, “Don’t be stupid.”

He brought his hands back to Phichit’s waist, barely holding him and distractedly wondered if this was normal behavior between friends. Regardless, it seemed Seung-gil wasn’t the only one who’d needed a hug today.

“I thought you were mad at me,” Phichit eventually said, voice muffled by Seung-gil’s jacket. One of his hands ran over the back of Seung-gil’s neck, the gesture oddly intimate and making his skin tingle.

He shook his head dumbly, then realized Phichit could only feel the motion. “I wasn’t.”

“Good. That’s – good,” Phichit sniffled. Seung-gil was horrified to think he might be crying. Was _he_ the reason Phichit had had a bad week? _Shit_.

Just as he was considering asking if everything was alright, Phichit moved back, hands holding his forearms. He met Seung-gil’s confused expression with shining eyes, the slightest bit wet and overwhelmingly, breath-takingly happy.

That unnamable pressure in this chest finally released. He’d decipher it at another time as right now, he had to act. Seung-gil felt his face heat up, inhaled deeply to say _something_ –

Jin had finally had enough of being ignored, jumping up on Seung-gil’s leg and making him stumble out of Phichit’s grasp. He glared at her innocent panting and wagging tail, cursing her poor timing and reprimanding her in Korean. Or good timing, depending on how you viewed it. He didn’t know what he’d been so ready to blurt out, but perhaps it would’ve been a mistake.

Phichit laughed, grabbing at his stomach and wiping away a stray tear. He bent down to pet Jin, whose tail wagged even faster at the attention of her favorite person. Seung-gil knew when he came in second.

He found he didn’t particularly care, not when Phichit smiled at him so wide his eyes nearly closed and said, “So let me tell you more about this YouTube channel.”


	7. Day 7: How far I'll Go (The Distance)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took this day's prompt and edited it to fit with a mashup on YouTube of Go the Distance from Hercules and How Far I'll Go from Moana. Basically I just wanted the sentiment's of both song's to come across ^^ Let me know if I succeeded lol

Phichit’s semester had been absolutely bizarre. After developing a crush on some random guy, suddenly the world was turning in a different direction, scant degrees just enough to make Phichit feel off-balance almost constantly. But then he and the boy became friends, and then they became close friends, and now Phichit was pining into his pillow every night.

Ever since Seung-gil’s week of radio silence, Phichit had been nervous and desperately trying to hide it. He had no idea what had set Seung-gil off, but he’d been in Phichit’s very room when it happened, that much was clear. He’d practically run out of the room, but Phichit was too distracted by all the people he’d have to be seeing, thinking about his own command yellow Star Trek uniform he’d spring on Seung-gil at the party, mind in a thousand places and none of them containing Seung-gil’s physical ticks or hasty exit.

When he hadn’t shown up at the party, Phichit had been miffed, but concerned. He’d asked around but no one had seen Seung-gil except Michele, who just shrugged blearily and went back to chugging whatever was in his Solo cup. He’d shot off a few texts and gotten no reply, and as the days passed Phichit couldn’t stop trying to contact him.

 _No one_ had seen him. He wasn’t in his classes, he wasn’t in his room, he wasn’t even walking Jin around campus. Once he’d sat outside Seung-gil’s room for an hour, waiting for him to come or go or make _some_ indication that he was even still alive. The RA said Seung-gil had emailed him, so he wasn’t concerned enough to intervene. For an entire week Phichit’s world was tipped even further off its axis, and he had zero clue how to cope with that.

He hadn’t realized just how important Seung-gil had become until he was gone. Phichit had assumed that nauseous feeling he’d get whenever Seung-gil smiled, or the way his hands always wanted to reach out and comb through his hair, he’d assumed these things were just the makings of a crush. But it becomes hard to ignore your very real, very deep feelings when you’re staring up at your ceiling, unable to sleep and sick with worry over a guy you’ve only known for a few months.

Those late nights forced Phichit to acknowledge a few irrefutable truths. One, Seung-gil really, _really_ mattered to him. Two, those sleeping strips still weren’t keeping Yuuri from snoring, which made Victor a saint. Three, someone who just had a crush wouldn’t feel this torn up over freaking Lee Seung-gil.

But if it wasn’t some crush he could wave off in the moment, that meant Phichit had real, legitimate romantic feelings for Seung-gil – which, in hindsight, wasn’t all that surprising. He’d stopped focusing on Seung-gil’s pretty face forever ago, sometimes listening to him without even looking at him. He’d ask after life in South Korea not for an excuse to gain his attention, but because he genuinely wanted to hear what the answer, then compare it with his own anecdote about his early childhood in Thailand.

Once when Seung-gil had to stay up late working on a proof series for one of his upper division courses, Phichit had offered to cook him dinner. It had been disastrous and the building’s fire alarm nearly went off, and Phichit had been horribly embarrassed. Seung-gil had come out into the kitchen at the sound of the commotion and laughed at him, and somehow Phichit felt like he’d succeeded. He then offered to split a pizza with him, but more importantly Seung-gil had _laughed_.

Phichit was a goner for this guy, there was no two ways about it. Of all the guys he had to fall for, did he really have to choose the year-long, straight-aura exchange student? Really, Phichit?

It had been two weeks since Seung-gil had run to his door and wrapped him up in an innocent hug that was better than any sex he’d ever had. Since then Phichit texted him at least twice a day, and they’d hang out whenever they both had free time. Seung-gil had even taken to doing homework in his presence, which was a _huge_ deal. That boy was very protective of his study spaces, but he seemed to trust Phichit enough to not be distracting for at least a few hours a week.

Today Phichit showed up to the common room of their dorm, laptop in hand and backpack stuffed full of reference materials, to find Seung-gil sitting next to Sara on a couch, chatting away. He looked upset, speaking fast and expression troubled, but Sara kept giggling at whatever he was saying.

Phichit hadn’t been the only one upset at Seung-gil’s absence. Sara had been nearly as worried as he’d been, knocking on Seung-gil’s door every time she visited Michele and slipping notes under his door. Since he’d come back from whatever headspace he’d been in, Seung-gil had been friendlier towards everyone, more willing to engage with people, even if he still had his serious demeanor. This meant that while he and Phichit had been spending more time together, he couldn’t tell if he was special. Did he get more time with Seung-gil than Sara did? Who knows.

“Hey there, you two,” he greeted, stepping up and ignoring the jealous urge to bodily shove Sara’s adorable face back a few feet. They both waved in acknowledgment, and Phichit grit his teeth at the synchronicity. “What’s up?”

“Seung-gil is so cute, I swear,” Sara laughed, leaning slightly into Seung-gil’s personal space. “The other night, he–”

“Stop, don’t tell him!” Seung-gil interjected, lightly shoving at Sara’s shoulder to get her to shut up. Phichit also hoped it was to get her back on her side of the couch. “It’s embarrassing to worry about it.”

“What? What’re you worried about?” He smiled, trying to look casual and hopefully succeeding.

“Nothing, it’s _nothing_ ,” Seung-gil said, glaring at Sara despite his small smile, a rare sight that Phichit had foolishly hoped had only been his to see. “Sara is teasing.”

“Yes, because it’s _cute!_ Let me tell him, _pleeease_?”

“No.”

Phichit was done humoring this. “So are we going to study, or…?”

“Oh, my bad! I’ll give you two some privacy!” She then leaned over to whisper something in Seung-gil’s ear, and Phichit saw red.

“Stop that,” Seung-gil huffed, pushing her away and going pink at her giggling. “Go away.”

“Alright, alright,” she laughed, the sound innocent but making Phichit feel taunted. “See you for dinner?”

“Maybe, I’ll let you know.”

She nodded, smiling her persistent smile, and waved at Phichit as she passed, hopefully on her way very far from here. To a new dorm, maybe. Or a new college.

He knew he was being petty. Sara was nothing but genuine and kind. Phichit would need to be okay with Seung-gil having other close friends.

Sighing, he plopped himself down in the seat vacated by Sara. “I hadn’t realized you two were so close,” he muttered, looking to complain but partially hoping Seung-gil hadn’t heard him.

Seung-gil shrugged in response, pulling over his laptop and opening up whatever complicated computer program he’d be using today. “She’s fine.”

“I’m jealous that you guys have such interesting secrets,” he said, laughing to make the comment more casual than it actually was.

Seung-gil still caught on, glancing at him and cheeks going a light pink. “Do you really want to know?"

“Aw, if you don’t want to tell me, it’s alright.” _Tell me_. _Now_.

Sighing, Seung-gil shut his laptop. The guise of studying had lasted less than thirty seconds, and Phichit was weirdly proud of his ability to distract Seung-gil.

“It really is nothing. I mentioned it when I saw her and Michele this morning, and she’s been teasing me relentlessly ever since,” he explained.

Seung-gil was pouting, staring off into space and caught up in whatever memories he had of telling Sara something he was embarrassed to tell Phichit. Feeling competitive, Phichit scooted a few inches over on the couch. When he went unnoticed, he began leaning to the side, moving until his shoulder bumped Seung-gil’s and the guy jumped with the contact.

His eyes widened but his face remained otherwise blank, and Phichit internally wept. Sara managed to get him so flustered just by entering his space. While here Phichit was, practically pressed up against Seung-gil’s side, and the guy was a statue.

Unable to hold in his sigh, Phichit slumped back against the sofa, closing his eyes to the world. With any luck, he could un-see the last five minutes, ignoring Sara’s crush on Seung-gil and how the feeling seemed to be reciprocated.

“I had a dream last night in English,” Seung-gil muttered, breaking Phichit’s train of thought.

Meeting his eyes cautiously, Seung-gil’s face was stoic but his eyes were practically twinkling. He looked… happy?

“In English?”

“Yeah. I usually dream in Korean,” he went on, running a hand through his hair distractedly. Phichit watched the motion and ached. “I was worried that I was losing some part of my Korean background, so when I told Sara I had been… distraught.”

He couldn’t help but smile at the mental image. “Oh, I see.”

“She laughed at me and said my English was getting better, which made me embarrassed for overreacting.” Seung-gil sighed. “I guess it’s not bad, but it’s... different.”

“I think your English has really improved,” Phichit responded without thinking. He was unprepared for Seung-gil’s look of embarrassed surprise, which made him laugh. “Oh come on, you just said ‘distraught,’ right?”

Seung-gil’s face flushed. “I don’t – I still had to think about it, and it’s not really anything–”

“Your English is amazing, that’s a fact. Take the compliment.”

Even though he huffed and turned back to his laptop, Phichit was able to enjoy Seung-gil’s red cheeks and awkward half-smile. He was blushing because his English skills had been called to attention, not because Phichit was the one doing it.

Moments away from teasing Seung-gil a bit, he was interrupted by the sound of his ringtone going off. Glancing at the caller ID, and shrugged sheepishly. “Sorry, I have to take this.”

Seung-gil nodded, which was all Phichit needed to grab his keys and jog towards the stairwell. He’d need privacy for this call, and the picnic tables out back would feel nice at this time of day.

Jumping down the steps, he finally answered the call. “Hey coz’, how’s it going?”

He could hear the streets of Bangkok in the background as his cousin started crying. “It’s over, he’s done with me!”

 

\------

 

Seung-gil had watched Phichit go, disappointment and understanding an irritating combination. The phone call was obviously important, and he and Phichit had only been studying. It made sense for Phihcit to choose the call over their conversation, as he had no right to Phichit’s sole attention.

Setting aside his computer in favor of staring moodily out the window, Seung-gil was surprised to see Phichit outside. He was pacing back and forth, speaking rapidly into his phone and nodding along, even though the other person couldn’t see him. The sight made Seung-gil smile even though it was a trivial detail to notice.

“Hey there, Seung-gil!”

Holding back a sigh at having his creepy Phichit-watching interrupted, he turned to wave at Victor as he approached. “Hello.”

He hadn’t failed to notice who hadn’t contacted him during his week cut off from the world. Victor acted like he’d never gone away, which was somehow worse than Sara’s overly enthusiastic tears and Michele’s shoulder pat.

Victor sat down in the seat Phichit had vacated, which shouldn’t irritate Seung-gil at all. “What’re you doing out here by yourself?” Without waiting for Seung-gil’s answer, he glanced at the bright orange backpack sitting innocently next to his own. “Ah, studying with Phichit then? Where is he?”

“Phone call,” Seung-gil answered before Victor went looking for a reason to analyze the way he’d been staring out the window.

“Mmm, I see.”

“…What are _you_ doing, then?”

“I’m…” Victor trailed off, staring down at his knees.

This was incredibly out of character. Victor never needed prompting to talk, was always happy to chatter on about whatever he wanted. Some days Seung-gil thought that he only really tolerated Victor for the sake of having Phichit and Yuuri as friends, so he was relieved to feel real concern at the lost look on Victor’s face.

He was probably just moping about something Yuuri said, or was out of ideas for a date-night. Those were typical Victor Problems™, as most of the international students called them.

“Are you okay?”

“…No.”

Shocked at the matter-of-fact answer, Seung-gil wasn’t sure how to respond. “Oh, um. I’m… sorry?”

“It’s fine,” Victor sighed. He smiled self-deprecatingly and slumped back against the sofa. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh, well…” If Victor was having an actual problem, shouldn’t Seung-gil at least try to help? “If you want to talk about it, I can listen.”

Even Victor looked surprised at that. “Really? You wouldn’t mind?”

Seung-gil nodded even though he suddenly felt played. Whatever Victor was about to dump on him, he knew was utterly unprepared to help with it.

“You see, my parents want me to go back to Russia. They say it’ll just be for winter break, but I think they don’t want me to come back.”

If Seung-gil had been holding something, he’d have dropped it.

“What?”

“They think that–” Victor cleared his throat before going on. “They’re worried about me. And miss me.”

He’d been right, he was the absolute worst person to be talking about this with. Who else could Victor talk to? Phichit? A Rock? Anyone would be more helpful than _him_. “Have you told Yuuri yet?”

Victor just shook his head, lips shut in a firm line, posture turning defensive.

“I won’t say anything.”

He gave Seung-gil a grateful smile that left him feeling cold. “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

They sat in silence for a bit, both too wrapped up in their own thoughts to even attempt conversation. Phichit’s description of Yuuri and Victor’s mushy behavior came to mind. How long had Victor known about this? Seung-gil was stupid to think he’d been the only one having a bad week (aside from Phichit), and instantly forgave Victor for his lack of attempted contact.

Victor was going back to Russia, possibly forever. He and Yuuri… What would happen to them? Did they love each other enough to try to make long-distance work? Yuuri was such an anxious person, surely it wouldn’t be enough for him. He’d grow insecure and withdrawn, and Victor would become miserable at seeing his pain. Seung-gil could imagine how all of this would play out not just because he knew Yuuri and Victor so well, but because he’d imagine this exact same scenario for himself and… someone else. No matter who was inside of this situation, it never worked out.

“This may not help right now,” Seung-gil started, words clambering to get out of his throat to fill the heavy silence. He’d been spending too much time with Phichit. “But surely you and Yuuri always knew something like this would happen, that you’d have to go back to Russia eventually. Have you not discussed this yet?”

Victor shook his head, smiling sadly. “We’d always pushed it off, say we’d talk about it eventually. That talk… it never happened.”

“Maybe you could convince your parents to let you stay? When you go home, you can–”

“I’m sorry Seung-gil, but right now I don’t want to think about plans and solutions.” Victor looked at him with bone-deep sadness in his eyes. “I just want to feel sad. Is that… weird?”

He shook his head, falling silent again. He’d been right, he was the worst person to come to about this.

God must exist and must have been listening, as Phichit chose that moment to return from his phone call. He looked tired but relieved, until he caught sight of him and Victor and how tense they were.

“Hey guys, what’s up?”

Victor glanced at Seung-gil, conveying his panic. Apparently he wasn’t ready to talk about this with Phichit, which was probably a smart choice. Phichit was too close to Yuuri to be unbiased, and he’d definitely lose his shit.

Desperate to help but also keep Victor’s problem a secret, Seung-gil blurted out, “If you loved someone but knew it couldn’t last forever, would you still try to make it work?”

Phichit frowned, glancing between the two of them suspiciously. “What kind of question is that?”

Seung-gil may or may not want to know the answer for his own purposes, so he tried again. “Would it be worth trying, even though you knew it wouldn’t last forever?”

Frown deepening, Phichit crossed his arms. “I’d fucking _make_ it last forever.”

Holding in a sigh, Seung-gil rolled his eyes. “You’re not getting it.”

“Don’t sass me, you’re the one asking cryptic questions.” Before Seung-gil could ask what “cryptic” meant, Phichit huffed, “No love lasts forever anyway, right?”

Before Seung-gil could ask a follow-up question, Victor decided to join in. “What do you mean?”

“All relationships end at some point, right? Either you break up, or you get divorced, or the other person dies.”

“That’s… awful.”

Phichit rolled his eyes. Seung-gil felt that Victor’s response had been fair. “Yeah, but if the idea of something ending prevents you from starting, then you’d never do _anything_ , right? All things end, all hearts get broken, why let it paralyze you?”

Seung-gil was too busy hanging off of Phichit’s every word to notice whatever Victor was doing when he asked, “But what if you get to that point where you’ll both wind up hurt? What if you’re afraid of hurting them more?”

Phichit smiled at them, maybe lingering on Seung-gil for an extra moment or two, and the sight lit up Seung-gil’s entire world. “If you’re both in love, then everything else comes second, no matter what.”

Seung-gil saw Victor nod out of his peripheral vision, but he barely cared. In Seung-gil’s mind, this was not about him and Yuuri anymore.

“Phichit, can we talk?” Seung-gil stood up and thought about taking Phichit’s hand, pulling him somewhere and confessing his feelings, feelings he’d finally be willing to acknowledge, maybe grovel at his feet a bit for good luck.

But Phichit shook his head, instead reaching down to grab his backpack. “Sorry, I need to head out. I forgot that I have a club meeting tonight.” Even though Phichit looked apologetic, he was giving Seung-gil some kind of a look, something between curiosity and desperation.

“Oh, alright.” He would not show his disappointment.

“We can talk later though, yeah?”

“Sure, that’s fine.”

“Oh, and let’s get dinner!”

“Sounds good.”

Phichit beamed, eyes scrunched and cheeks chubby and ruining Seung-gil’s study potential for the night. “Great! I’ll bring food back, sometime around 8.”

“Alright.”

“Have a good club meeting,” Victor said, waving at Phichit retreating back.

He turned back and waved at them both. Seung-gil’s face felt hot at the lingering look he received.

“You two have been circling around each other for months,” Victor sighed. “It’s exhausting to watch, you know.”

Seung-gil raised an eyebrow at him. “And your and Yuuri’s excessive flirting _isn’t_ exhausting?”

“No, it’s adorable.”

Suddenly realizing he hadn’t refuted Victor’s claim, Seung-gil sagged back into the couch. “You’re wrong anyway,” he sighed. “It’s not like that.”

“Bullshit,” Victor scoffed. “The tension between you two is thicker than my uncle Boris.”

He laughed at that, but still denied everything and ignored the way his hands started wringing themselves together. “You’re imagining things.”

“Whatever, Yuuri said I can’t get involved,” Victor muttered, crossing his arms. “He’s worried I’ll make things worse… which is probably true.”

Seung-gil hummed in acknowledgement, but didn’t really know what to say to that. Apparently he and Yuuri talked about the _tension_ between him and Phichit. Apparently their relationship was _exhausting_ to watch. He didn’t know how he should feel about being less subtle than he’d previously thought, all he knew was the panic welling up in his throat.

Victor took a breath as if he was about to add more, then stopped. He sighed, messed with his hair, rubbed a crease out of his sleeve, then sighed again. “There’s something else.”

He squinted at Victor, trying to stare hard enough to read his thoughts. “About what?”

“My parents. They…” Victor sighed again, rubbing at an eye. “I told them about Yuuri and me.”

Ah, then that… his family’s concerns hadn’t come out of nowhere. No, not every family would be as supportive as Seung-gil’s nuna. In fact, his own parents would probably react badly if he were to ever tell him about his total disinterest in girls.

“They were… horrible.” Victor sniffed, but his eyes were dry. “It’s not safe to be gay in Russia because of people like them.”

“That’s… a lot.”

“Yeah.”

“…That’s part of what I like about the States.” At Victor’s questioning look, Seung-gil explained, “Sure there are assholes on every street, and prejudice prevents a lot of people from understanding one another, but at least people are honest about their hate. And people like me, or you, we can find others just like us, and there’s safety in numbers.” He swallowed nervously, worried about having such laser-like attention aimed at him. “In South Korea, it’s easily to feel distant from even your neighbor. But here… I made friends so easily.” Now it was Seung-gil’s turn to sniff, but not cry. “I thought I’d have so much trouble, but knowing English, going to a college and being surrounded by other foreigners, the transition has felt so natural. I don’t think everyone gets that experience, but I… I really like it here.”

“College isn’t forever,” Victor sighed, although he smiled in understanding of Seung-gil’s sentiment. “People grow up and move apart, and then the community we’ve found will be gone. Then we’ll be alone, and we’ll have to find a way of working within the rest of the world, not the one that exists here.”

Seung-gil shook his head. “Some friends are temporary, but some are forever. I never had a single close friend growing up, but my sister is still best friends with the guy who stole her juice in the first grade.” He made sure to maintain eye contact before he continued. “Some of the friends I’ve made here, I want to keep forever. And Phichit…”

He paused, terrified of the absence of his typical emotional filter. Something about Victor’s pain resonated with him, and he’d found himself gushing about his feelings as naturally as breathing. In fact, he’d been about to say…

“I’ve never wanted someone the same way I want him. It feels… That feeling is more important than everything else, right?”

Victor didn’t react at first, but when he did he yanked Seung-gil into a hug. Seung-gil thought he heard a “Thank you” muttered into his shoulder, but he wasn’t sure what Victor would be thanking him for. At some point, this conversation had been more about his own catharsis than for Victor's very real and very complex dilemma. But it seemed like somehow, he'd managed to help them both.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me comments and/or kudos if you enjoyed this!
> 
> There will be more to come for each day of SeungChuchu Week 2, so I'll see you all tomorrow with another chapter!


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